Written Words Left Unsaid (Michael Cliffofd Fanfic)

Chapter 17

Hey! This chapter is actually really long, so just a heads up :) hope you like it. Again, sorry for any mistakes that are in this, I'm not perfect. Thanks for reading this again my lovelies :)

******TRIGGER WARNING*******
If you are easily triggered, please be aware that there is mention of self harm/suicide in this chapter.

I love you all and I'm here for you <3 please stay strong if things are hard, an you can talk to me about anything.

The Author xxx

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Someone was crying, why were they crying? I was trying to sleep this flight away, I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. The crying stopped, but now someone was hold my hand, why can't I just sleep? I wanted to open my eyes and tell the person to go away, but I couldn't find the strength to do it.

'Hayley?' I heard the person whisper. How did they know my name? 'Oh god, please, please just wake up,' the voice cried again. I knew that voice, it was so familiar, it was, it was... I fell asleep again.

'You said you trusted me, trust me when I say if you wake up, things will be ok,' that same voice said to me. 'I care so much about you, please come back to me. I nee...'

I heard crying again, what the hell was going on? I was nearly able to open my eyes, I could feel it. The person was still crying, but they took my hand again, and held it to thief lips.

'Please baby, you can do it. Open your eyes, please?' It cried. I knew that voice, it was Michael! I forced my eyes open and saw nothing but blinding light for a screw seconds. I turned my head and looked at Michael next to me. His head was down, and he hadn't noticed I was awake.

'M-Michael?' I croaked out, but my voice was hoarse and unclear. 'Mich-ael?' I asked again. His head shot up and he looked at me, it broke my heart to see him like this. His face was unshaven, he had dark circles under his eyes, and they were red and puffy from crying. What had happened? 'Whats g-going on-n?' I asked.

'Hayley, Hayley! Oh my god you're awake!' Michael shouted, more tears streaking his cheeks. He squeezed my hand a little tighter and kissed it. 'Oh my god,' he said. Just then, a doctor walked in, making Michael stand up and back away from my bed.

'You woke up,' he observed smiling. 'Now, do you have any idea what happened?' The doctor asked me. I thought about this.

'I remember getting on the plane, and sitting with Michael,' I recalled slowly. 'Then, after take off, I went to the bathroom, and took some sleeping tablets,' I said frowning, trying to remember. 'Then went back to sit down and fell asleep.'

'And how many tablets did you take?' The doctor asked me.

'I don't know to be honest,' I said. My voice was becoming stronger, but it still sounded croaky.

'I see, well, from what we gathered, you took at least ten of them, causing you to almost over dose on them. If the flight had gone for much longer, you may not have made it,' the doctor said. I looked over to Michael who was sitting in a chose in the corner of the room.

'So, how long was I out?' I asked.

'About a week, you would come in and out of consciousness, but not enough to wake up from,' the doctor explained.

'A-a week?' I gasped.

'Yes, if you had taken any more, or the flight had been longer, you wouldn't have even so lucky. Your boyfriend here was very worried,' he said pointing to Michael. I looked at him too and was still shocked at how he looked. 'Now, I know you will not be feeling one-hundred percent right now, but the sooner you start to eat and move again, the better. You will also have a session with a therapist later today,' the doctor said. 'A nurse will be here soon with some lunch for you,' he said before walking out the door, giving Michael and I a smile and nod.

'Do you have any idea how much I went through?' Michael asked me, looking up from the chair he was sitting on.

'I didn't know it would happen,' I replied.

'You took half a bottle of sleeping pills! What did you think was going to happen?!' Michael yelled at me and standing up.

'I didn't know I took that many, I just wasn't thinking,' I said, but my voice was still weak.

'Damn right you weren't thinking Hayley! I thought you were never going to wake up,' he cried. 'I thought you really wanted to leave, and I almost let you,' he said slumping back into the chair.

'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Michael,' I said feeling tears in my eyes.

'I care so much about you, but you tried to throw it all away,' he mumbled to me.

'I would never do that!' I said louder.

'Then what the hell has all of this been?!' He said standing up and walking over to the window in the room. He placed his right hand on the wind sill and leaned on it for a moment, his shoulder hunched over.

'Michael,' I started to say, but a nurse came in with food for me.

'Here you go darling,' she said smiling. I tried to sit up, but I had no strength in my arms. 'Here,' the nurse said putting down the tray and helping me sit up. Once I was comfortable, she put the tray on my lap, smiled and then left again.

'Michael, please, I'm sorry, I was freaking out, I wasn't thinking. I just needed to get through the flight-' he cut me off when he turned around.

'I was there with you the whole time! Was that not enough for you? When you fell asleep, I stroked your hair, and kissed your forehead, and you hugged my arm. When we landed and you would wake up, I freaked out. I really thought you wouldn't wake up. Did you even read the label on the bottle? Those things could have killed you!' Michael shouted at me again.

'I'm sorry Michael! I didn't mean to take that many! I was panicking and I wasn't thinking! I told you this, I'm sorry!' I said, my voice getting stronger now.

'Sorry doesn't change what I just went through!'

'Neither does yelling at me!' Michael stopped and stared at me, his eyes softening slightly. 'I'm sorry,' I said again.

'Leave it,' he said, then he left me alone in the room. I didn't do anything, I just sat there and waited, waited for him to come back. When he didn't, I slowly tried to eat my food, but soon felt sick and had to stop. A few hours later, the doctor came back with the therapist and I had to talk about all the things I had tried to avoid by moving here.

This continued for a week, and for that whole week, I didn't see or hear from Michael, or anyone, apart from the doctors and nurses. I had started eating again, and could walk now. I was leaving today, but I didn't know where to go, or how to get there. I had finished getting dressed when I hear my phone go off. I walked over and picked it up off the table. It was from Michael.

'Im coming to pick u up soon with he boys'

I felt the same stabbing pain in my chest that I felt when I first heard about Clair. I sighed and typed a quick reply.

'Ok, I'll be waiting'

I hadn't seen Michael in a week. He probably hates me now, well, likes me less. The boys more than likely wont be too happy to see me either, considering what I've made Michael go through. I felt horrible about it, I didn't want to have any more drama, I wanted to be happy with Michael again.

I sat on my bed and waited for the boys to arrive. It had been two weeks since I left my life behind, which meant I had two weeks, and school was back. I sighed and dreaded the thought so much, but I couldn't dwell on the thought, as there was a knock on the door. I stood and opened it. There in front of me stood Luke, Calum, Ashton and Michael.

'Hey!' They shouted at me smiling. I smiled back at them and stood aside for them to come in. All of them but Michael bounded into the room and made themselves comfortable. Michael stood in the doorway looking at me.

'Please, let me try and expla-' I couldn't finish as Michael pushed his lips against mine. His right arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close, my arms going to his neck. We moved in sync for a little, then there was a cough from behind me. We broke apart and smiled at each other.

'I've missed you,' he whispered into my ear as he hugged me.

'I'm sorry,' I said to his neck. When I pulled away, I turned to finally meet the rest of the band. Ashton was up out of his seat first, giving me a hug. Then Calum, then Luke.

'You ready to get out of here?' Ashton asked, standing by the door.

'Are you kidding? I've been here two weeks!' I said picking up my bag of clothes and swinging it over my shoulder. Michael took my hand and we walked out of the hospital room, hoping to never see it again. I had to just stop at the reception for a bit, but once that was done, we walked out to the car park.

'Hey, when so you get your cast off?' I asked Michael as we headed towards Ashton's car.

'In a week babe,' he said smiling.

'Nice, lets hope you don't break anything else then,' I said giving his hand a squeeze. We reached Ashton's car and I put my bag in the back. We all climbed in and put our seat belts on. Ashton was in the drivers seat, Calum riding shot gun, Luke on my right in the back, and Michael on the left. As soon as we were in, Ashton started the act and we drove away.

The drive was silent except for the radio playing. I looked down at my hands and ran my thumb over the scars on my fingers my burns had healed, but I still had to be reminded if them. I sighed and rested my head on Michaels shoulder.

'Almost there darling,' he whispered to me, 'Almost there.' It was another ten minutes before we reached a house, I'm guessing it was Ashton's, and got out of the car. I followed the boys inside and saw Karen sitting at the table with another lady. They both looked up as we walked in the door.

'Hayley!' Karen yelled running over and hugging me.

'Hey Karen,' I said.

'You look so thin!' She observed looking me up and down.

'I know, but I feel a lot better,' I said giving her another hug.

'Now, this is Ashton's mum,' Karen said, gesturing to the lady she was sitting with.

'Hi,' I said waving.

'Hello, it's nice to finally meet you,' she said waving back.

'Well, we have to finish sorting something's out, but you go upstairs with the boys and we can talk later,' Karen said.

'Sure,' I replied Turing around and following the rest of the boys to Ashton's room. When we were up there, everyone made themselves comfortable again, Michael pulling me onto his lap as he sat in a beanbag.

'So, my mum's going out of town tomorrow, and it's basically going to just be us here for a few weeks,' Ashton said.

'Yeah, and my mum had to go back up to Cairns to finish off with work and stuff, so she won't be back until school starts,' Michael continued.

'So, it's like ones adobe sleep over?' I asked smiling at the boys.

'Pretty much,' Calum said. 'Because Luke and I are staying over too!' He said hi-fiving Luke.

'Well this is going to be fun,' I said laughing.

'Yep, but for now, you are coming with me,' Michael said standing up and taking my hand.

'Where to?' I asked cautiously.

'We have some, catching up, to do,' he said with a wink before dragging me out of the room. We walked down the hallway to a spare room with a bag of Michaels clothes in it. 'I've missed you so much,' he whispered closing he door behind him.

'Then why didn't you come and see me?' I asked sitting on the bed.

'Because they wouldn't let me in, they told me to not even text you,' he said looking at the ground. 'I so badly wanted to come and see you,' he said sitting down next to me.

'Why wouldn't they let you?' I asked quietly, looking into his eyes.

'They said it wouldn't help you recover. Not after the way I left, they just wouldn't let me,' he said avoiding my eyes.

'It's not your fault,' I said placing my hand on his cheek. He looked up at me and smiled sadly.

'I think, I think I love you,' he then said to me. The smile on my face widened and Michael finally looked me in the eyes.

'I think I love you too,' I said. Then, we leaned in and kissed each other. I felt Michaels lips moving against mine, and his hand go to my waist. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Michaels hand ran up and down my side sending shivers all through my body, this is what it was meant to be like. I pulled away and stared into his eyes, smiling, he smiled back.

We stayed like that, just enjoying each other company, cherishing the moments we had together. All of a sudden though, there was a knock on the door. Luke then opened it and poked his head in.

'There's someone at the door for you Michael,' he said.

'Who is it?' Michael asked sounding annoyed that we were interrupted.

'Uh, I think you should just come down bef-' Luke couldn't finish because there was another person yelling from down the hallway.

'MICHAEL CLIFFORD! YOU BETTER NOT BE WITH ANOTHER GIRL RIGHT NOW, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW STRESSFUL THIS IS?!'

I looked at Michael, his face explained it all. Luke looked behind him, then quickly ran into the room and his behind the bed. I looked back to the door and waited for it to open, Michael still holding me close and my arms still around his neck.

'I'm sorry guys, she wouldn't leave,' Luke said, right before the door flew open.