Written Words Left Unsaid (Michael Cliffofd Fanfic)

Chapter 30

We finally made it through customs and got into the taxi. The ride to the hospital was deadly silent, I had never been more anxious in my entire life. I sat there staring out the window at the sunny sky. Why was it sunny?

At the hospital, we walked in silence up to her room, her mum was waiting outside her room for us. She looked up when she heard us walking towards her and gave us a sad smile and a wave. We reached her and have her a hug. Still, nobody spoke.

'Are you ready?' Rachael asked me. We had decided I would go in alone, just because I didn't want people to see me like that. I nodded, then slowly opened the door, walking in and I sat down next to her bed.

She lay there, her eyes closed, her body not breathing, at least naturally. The life support was living for her. It breathed and worked for her. I stared at her, waiting. Finally, I took her hand and held it, and kissed her hand.

Her arms weren't covered anymore, so I could see all of the cuts and scars that remained there. I stood up and sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at her, holding both her hands in mine. They were cold and lifeless.

For ages, I sat there looking at her and trying to find the courage to say something to her.

'Hey beautiful,' I whispered. I smiled sadly down at her sleeping face. If only she could hear me. 'I've missed you. I've missed you so much.' I sat there again, feeling tears in my eyes, but I was determined not to cry.

I then moved again. I carefully moved so that I was laying next to her, my legs crossing over hers and my arms around her shoulders, as I rested my cheek on her head. It was like we always chilled, laying down and staring at the ceiling, saying nothing because words weren't needed.

'I love you,' I whispered. I kissed her forehead. 'I wish you'd wake up.' My voice cracked as I spoke now, and a tear fell from my eye. 'I need you here darling.' I turned my head and cried onto her shoulder, wishing that she was really here.

More time passed and I was still wanting to say to her what was in my text. I pulled out my phone and opened up the message. I kissed her forehead again, then slowly began to read it to her.

"Hayley,

I know that this letter seems small and insignificant to the one you left me, but you have to hear this. I love you, I love you more than anything in this world. When I saw you at the park, the way you had your head down, and your earphones in but the music so loud I could hear the bass. You had your thumbs moving quickly over your keypad, typing away. Did you ever finish that poem?

I loved the way you would smile, it was cute and shy, but cocky at the same time. I wanted to kiss you there and then, but that would have been creepy and I was scared you knew self defence or something. Turns out you did know it.' I paused and laughed slightly, knowing she would have too. Another tear fell, then I continued.

'That night, you were so beautiful. You really were, and since then, I have only been more amazed by it, your stunning. But now, I'm babbling, so just know, I love you. I love you so much.

I'm also sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't save you and that I wasn't there when you needed someone the most. I'm sorry that you suffered for so long and that it was so unnoticed. I'm sorry, but I still love you.

Here in London it's crazy lonely without you. I wish we could talk, and I could hear your voice and see you smile just one last time. But I guess that may not happen. Just know, I love you.

That song, the one I was writing for you, I want to finish it for you, but I don't know what to call it. I was hoping you could help me with the name. I had a few ideas, but your were always better. When you hear it, let me know what you think.