Written Words Left Unsaid (Michael Cliffofd Fanfic)

Chapter 23

******TRIGGER WARNING*******

If you are easily triggered, please be aware that there is mention of self harm in this chapter.

I love you all and I'm here for you <3 please stay strong if things are hard, an you can talk to me about anything.

The Author xxx

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With my back pressed up against the wall, I slowly slid down to sit on the cold tiled floor. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, resting my forehead on top of them. I took deep breaths, trying to stay calm, but the shock of what happened was really setting in now.

I sat there silently, then slowly stood up and walked over to the mirror. I looked in and saw I was a mess. My hair was going everywhere, my cheeks were flushed and my eyes were a little red. I washed my face, but it didn't do much. I stood there, staring at what I was, my hands resting on either side of the sink and my shoulder hunched. I had to get a grip, but I didn't know if I could.

I looked in the cupboard under the sink and found a packet of disposable razors. I was shaking so much, but I picked it up and pulled one out.

'No!' I whispered to myself. 'I can't do this, I can't do this!' I went to put the razor down, but the demon inside my head started talking.

*Do it...* it taunted me. *You know, just one little slice, it feels good...* I turned away from the mirror and clenched my fists, feeling the razor in my hand. I looked down at it, it was so small, and it seemed powerless. But it had so much control over me. *Do it...* the voice said again.

I couldn't, I had promised I wouldn't. I had pinky promised! I took one last look at the razor, then threw it across the room and screamed. I dropped down to the floor again just in a mess of tears. The razor fell to the ground on the other side of the bathroom with a small clatter.

I leaned my back against the cupboards with my knees up to my chest again. My head lent back and I rested it on the cupboard door. I was breathing heavily, and sweating, and crying. I looked down at the razor blade on the floor, eyeing it over.

*Pick it up...*

'No!' I whispered. I put my hands over my eyes and screamed, trying to block out the temptation. There was a knock on the door and worried voice started talking through it.

'Hayley? What's going on?' Michael asked. I looked over at the door, I didn't know what was going on either.

Michael's P.O.V.

We were downstairs just putting lollies in bowls and pouring drinks into glasses when we heard it. Someone was screaming. I looked up at the others, they had heard it too.

'What was that?' Luke asked.

'I don't know,' Calum answered. There was another scream, but it was louder this time. As soon as I heard it, I ran upstairs to the bathroom. The door was locked, but I knew Hayley was in there. I knocked on the door softly.

'Hayley? What's going on?' I asked as the others joined me. There was no reply, she had to be ok, she had to. I looked to Calum who was next to me, but he just shrugged his shoulders. 'Hayley? Open the door, please?' I begged.

There was still no answer, but I could hear her crying in there. I looked to Luke this time, but he didn't know what to do, neither did Ashton. Jasmine was standing there holding Ashton's hand tightly, she looked worried, but didn't know what to do. I turned back to the door.

'At least tell me if you're ok?' I whispered to her through the door.

'I-I'm ok,' she faintly replied. Her voice was shaking and I could her she wasn't ok.