{This is actually a few months old -even the updated bit- cause I needed to time to be ready to post it}
Dear Angel,
I didn't know my heart could ever feel that way. I look at you and my heart fills with warmth and joy. Sometimes color even rushes to my cheeks. And that certainly never happened before. Being near you is like a drug. And you really got me addicted. Cause I definitely should've known better than to fall in love with someone out of my league. Especially someone who will never show any interest in me than just being friendly. It's your kindness I fell for. At first. Then I fell for your smile. The way you're eyes sparkle make my heart melt. And the the truth that I probably won't ever light them up like that makes it break. Why are you so likeable? Why can't you make me not like you? If I'm not supposed to be yours then I don't get, how I can not get over you. Each smile you give me makes me feel loved and breaks my heart at the same time.
My sweet angel, I don't think I will ever understand how ok I am with you breaking me apart. It's weird how accustomed I am to the pain you cause me. And it's even weirder how much like being broken because of you. I don't wanna let go of the thought of you because I don't know what would hurt me more. Yet I can't breathe anymore without the pain in my heart. Slowly suffocating it.
I would love to ask you if I should wait for you or if I'm definitely not in your interests.
I know you don't like my vices. And funnily enough these are my way to cope with the heartbreak you cause me. I tried to stop for you but every drag gives me medicine for the sweet pain. So I guess it's more complicated with the two of you.
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Dear Angel,
I don't know if this the final time I write for you but I know there is so much still to be finished writing. You were my longest muse by far. And for that I'm grateful. But my dear Angel it seems I have to let you go. It is time that I again start to realize my path for the future and my sense of being me. It's a new journey and I'm so happy you could be there for a time in my life. You will always always and forever have the permission to break my heart in the best ways
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