My Diary

March 30th, 2022

Dear Diary,

So we have been typing the start of an entry and we haven't been able to finish them as there is a lot happening constantly. We tried to start this before Christmas and then again in early March. We finally have the time to type for once so lets do this.

So we ended up ending it with Mattethew and Douglas. Mattethew was jealous as they thought Douglas and I were doing stuff behind Mattethews back. I had projected my fears of not having supports as a child onto his younger brother and he ended it for both him and Mattethew. Mattethew couldn't do it themselves. It ended not long after Thanksgiving.

I was dating another person named James. We were doing well in the relationship and James got another partner as I don't feel comfortable with intimacy and James is a lovey dovey touchy person when he is in a relationship. The person that was officially added was name Maxine (they are trans). They both hit it off quite well. We all seemed to.

James and Max were doubting that we even loved them. Even when we sent James 8 voice clips saying what I loved about them and how I loved the small little things that he did that most people over look. They ended that relationship last Monday. Then they told me that we weren't getting kicked out and just a few hours later James told us that we had a week to find my own place. That is literally impossible to do.

I told a lot of my friends what was going on and one of them told me my legal rights. I ended up going to therapy last week and was let back into the apartment. But when I went to my aunt Elesa's (I call her ma more often than not) place. I go to her place every weekend and I have been going to her place since I came back to New York after I ran away from Anne's place. James took advantage of me not being in the apartment to kick me out. He literally threw my stuff into the hallway and Doug had to go get it for me.

Something happened that made Douglas mad at me and I don't know what the hell it is. Someone destroyed Matte's clothes and Kat's makeup is missing. I don't have much for makeup myself and I don't destroy other peoples personal belongings as I could be in a lot of legal trouble if I do so.

I have a personal guidelines for myself.

No destroying other peoples property no matter how I feel about the person.

No lying about serious things as that can only make things worse.

Treat others how I would like to be treated.

If someone else starts a conversation and they are giving attitude, give it right back to them.

If I start a conversation with someone else I give nothing but respect.

Don't be afraid to stand up for not only myself but those who can not for themselves.

Think everything through very thoroughly before acting upon anything.

Don't do anything that won't better my situation.

Don't let others drag me down to their level.

Treat any persons pets with love and kindness even if the owner doesn't deserve it.

Accept my faults and issues as they are and try to work on them.

If we have an issues with anyone that we will tell them face to face and in the moment as it doesn't make anything easier for either party.

Don't get mad. (I'll explain that later on.)

Be comfortable and true to who I am no matter what.

Use self defense as needed.

Ignore what my enemies and fake friends have to say about me, their opinion doesn't matter.

Don't touch or mess with any items that are connected to people I love, care for, admire and who may be connected to my FP (fixated "favourite" person, it's a borderline personality disorder thing) as I have a respect for those that my FP holds dear.