Love Under Construction

7. Feigning

Spencer's POV

I probably shouldn't, but I allow my lips to touch hers and take whatever consequence that comes with it.

She breathes heavily against me before placing both hands on my chest and gently pushing me back to speak more clearly.

"I was a child actor who didn't fair as well as a teen---," she tells me as she tries to gather her thoughts.

It makes me smile knowing she's having a hard time resisting me.

"You're an amazing actor!" I tell her based off of her performance yesterday in class. "But that's not what I want to know right now."

She breathes deeply. "Tell me exactly it is you want to know?"

"Are you fed up?" I ask, ignoring her uncertainty about the moment we're sharing.

"Yes, but I did this to myself."

"Did what?" I question.

"You said you used Yonni. Well, I used Colson--- not for money or fame. Hell, I would've gotten more money and fame if I rode my dad's coattail. But I didn't. And that's where Colson came in. I used him as an escape from my truth. I was a product of a broken home and I hated it. And Colson needed me to feel whole again. So I poured into him. In return, I felt loved and wanted—-"

"—-But?"

"But we're no longer those people—- or at least I'm not that person. Over time, I've grown and understand I wasn't the reason my parents split. And their neglect isn't my fault either."

She speaks as if she's been in some sort of therapy and I'm proud of her, if so.

"I'm happy for you. Getting through a divorce as a child or an adult can't be easy." I admit. "But if you know all of that, why are you still with Colon?"

She giggles at me for purposely messing up his name.

"I guess for some of the same reasons you're stuck on Yonni," she tells me and I nod at her wit and honesty. "Familiarity, comfortability--- even a little guilt."

I sigh as I lean against the balcony beside her.

She throws her head back in clear frustration before letting out a small yelp in attempt to rid herself of the thoughts our conversation have brought on.

"Anyway—- back to you movie star. I know movies are like top secret, but can you at least tell me the role you'll be playing." She says as she changes the subject.

"I got the lead role," I admit and she jumps and claps happily.

"The lead? Are you serious?"

"Your Pops said he needed me in the lead," I reiterate. "Aye, I got an idea. Why don't you come out for a role? There's plenty of openings."

"I don't have time," she mumbles and I look around the empty balcony.

"By the look of things, you have a lot of time."

"Acting is not what I want to be doing right now," she tells me and after seeing her on stage yesterday, I can tell she's lying. "So just drop it!"

"Okay--- I respect that! At least, help me practice." I say and she looks at me curiously, making me chuckle as I move closer to where she's leaning.

Her smile lets me know she's okay with what's taking place. And I only leave enough space to fit a piece of paper between us.

"What's my character's name?" She asks with a slight grin.