Love Under Construction

36. Pride (Part 1)

Spencer's POV

"Aww— yall are no fun!" Cassie yells as I open the door for Olivia to get inside the car.

Liv smiles and blows a kiss in her girls' direction and I pause before shutting the door.

"Look, if you want to go out with your friends, don't let me stop you."

"Baby, we clearly need to talk," she responds and I shake my head slowly before shutting her door.

I take my time as I go around to the driver's side.

The image of Olivia at that dinner table smiling with Colson keeps stirring around my mind so vividly. In fact, I couldn't think about much else the entire dinner.

After a deep breath, I get inside the car and drive off, hoping the ride is quiet because I still can't find the right words to say.

"So are we really not going to talk about it?" She asks and I shrug.

"What do you want me to say?" I question and I hear her sigh loudly. "You want me to say 'oh baby, it's cool, I know you love me. So having your ex around to celebrate your birthday is no big deal to me'?"

She looks over and scowls at my sarcasm before rolling her eyes.

"You know I didn't ask him to be there!"

"You accepted his wine and company," I add and she denies it.

"I told him to leave several times. What else did you want me to do?"

"When I first walked in the door, y'all were smiling in each other's faces and you didn't even notice I was in the room——- So I stepped off to the side for a little just to watch! And you definitely didn't seem to mind him being there to me."

"He showed me a picture of his daughter, Spencer!—— And what are you spying on me now?" She asks and I shrug. "Is that what we're doing?"

"You asked me to come," I raise my voice. "And I saw enough."

"You saw nothing! And what happened to trusting me? You know who I love!"

"I figured you'd say that!—- And trust me, I wanted to think that sneaky ass ex of yours was bothering you and I would have to tell him to leave you alone, but you seemed just fine with your wine and cute smile."

"You're exaggerating. And you damn sure didn't read the room correctly." She insist. "I asked him to leave several times. And he sent that wine because he wanted to. I didn't even drink it!"

"Maybe so, but to add insult to injury, you let him pay for your meal!"

"Let him pay? I didn't let him do shit, Spencer! I was just as surprised as you were!"

"Yeah, but you made sure to postpone our plans to spend your time at the restaurant your ex knew all about, huh?"

"I have no control over him. And I don't care to have any! The fact of the matter is, I wanted you there. I don't give a fuck about Colson! I love you and only you!" She yells before pausing. "But for some reason, I don't think that even matters to you. Because your issue isn't with me!"

"What are you talking about, Liv? I'm pissed about the situation!"

"I just told you I didn't know he would show up. And you say I saw you smiling with him. I tell you I smiled at a picture of his daughter. And you say he bought me wine. I tell you I didn't drink the wine. Then you come at me with the fact that he paid the bill, knowing I had no control over that either!" She tells me and I just continue to drive, not really having a response to her words. "In other words, the truth won't matter to you because your ego is too big to see today for what it is."

"My ego?" I scoff. "Help me out. What exactly is tonight? Because I thought I was going to get to spend it celebrating you— another year of life! But all it did was remind me of all of the reasons we spent damn near a year apart when we should've been together. It reminded me of when you left me standing outside of my favorite place in the world!"

"The difference between you and I is that I don't care to remember that night. Or the times that we weren't together!" She rebuttals. "But your pride isn't allowing you to forget it, I see!"

"I forgot it until the reason for it all showed up to dinner tonight!" I respond.

"And yet, I'm still not thinking about him because I choose to think about what makes me happy. And that's any time I'm with you, Spencer!" She counters sharply, making me swallow my words as I start to think about the way I've handled this entire situation. And it's not my proudest moment, but I can't pretend like it didn't bother me.

"Look, maybe you're right! Maybe I need to give my ego a break for tonight. Besides I got to talk to my lawyer tomorrow."

"No—- it's my birthday and whether you're upset or not, I refuse to spend it without you. So you're going to have to suck it up and we can go to either of our places together—- And why are you meeting with your lawyer, anyway— is everything okay?"

Her refusing to let me run, makes me smirk. The tables have turned tonight.

"Tigo offered me a contract today after the audition," I answer truthfully.

"You got the job?" She asks excitedly. "I'm so proud of you baby!"

In that moment, it's like she forgets the intense conversation we were just having at the thought of me getting my next acting job.

And for the first time tonight, my mind doesn't replay the image of the love of my life chumming it up with her ex back in that restaurant. It now shows one of my favorite images of her. And that's her unwavering support of my dreams.

I peep over at her genuine smile and, inwardly, condemn myself for letting my pride invade a day as special as her birthday. I try to refocus on the road, but not before catching a glimpse of my reflection in the rear view mirror.

Olivia could've stomped on my insecurities tonight at dinner. Instead, she continuously reminded her friends how much she loved me. She could've let me suffer in the thought that her and her ex have rekindled something by going out with her homegirls after dinner. But she left with me instead. And I gave her plenty of reasons to not cheer for my big win tonight. But yet, she's still right here rooting for me.

"Fuck!" I yell frustratedly.

"Spencer, really? You're going to let my ex ruin the fact that you just landed your second job in Hollywood?" She asks, obviously tired of my negativity.

"No— sorry! That's not why I said that!" I respond quickly and she stares off curiously.

"Well, what is it now?"

"Nothing— it's just— nothing!" I hesitate before pausing. "I just feel a little stupid. I shouldn't have reacted that way. Thinking the worse, knowing you've only given me your best since we made it official!"

She grins and I bite my bottom lip at her beauty.

"And you're right! It didn't matter what you said to try and make me feel better about tonight because my ego was in the way of my heart."

I feel her hand touch mine and I allow our fingers to interlock as I take the exit with one hand controlling the steering wheel.

"Your feelings are valid, Spencer! I swear I understand how it must've looked to you tonight. But I know you know that's not what it was." She says and I nod in agreement. "I wouldn't jeopardize anything we have for him. Hell, I wouldn't jeopardize what we have for anybody in this world."

Her words stick to me like glue to paper as I pull over to the side of the road.

"You okay?" She asks as she looks around confused.