The Maxwell's

Regret

Joshua's Pov

I woke up groggily in the soft sheets of a bed I knew wasn't mine, I was quick to look to my surroundings as my breath quickened and so did my heart rate. Recognizing the walls of the room rightfully owned by none other than Law my tense body relaxed and I looked over to see Law staring at me concerned.

"Sorry, just a nightmare I'm fine" I said to him in a raspy voice and immediately I saw him physically relax. Gently rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I got up out of his bed and threw on the hoodie I supposedly was wearing when I was put here.

"Your cousins want you to stay with me for a bit, just till things settle down back at home." He said in a hushed voice and I just shook my head.

"I'm going back, they can't tell me what to do at least not anymore." I said confidently and seeing Law's face caused my mood to dampen again real fast. He just shook his head at me which gave me the signal that even if I fought him he wouldn't let me go back there.

'Josh you need rest. You're body needs time to heal especially after traumatic experiences like that and we both know you're not okay right now.' Law said and tears flooded my eyes which intern caused my vision to blur. I don't think my head is able to wrap around the fact that's she's gone, the experiences we won't get to have together because of Marco and I lost the person that made me feel okay. I've dealt with a lot of death in my life, most of it family so of it friends but not once have I lost someone I'm involve with. With a sigh I pulled Law's sheets back over my face as I continued to contemplate my thoughts. 

"Want me to make you something?" Law asked in a somewhat whisper, unsure if I was still asleep or not.  At first, I just let out an exaggerated groan and sat up surveying my surroundings once again. 

"Not hungry." I mumbled rubbing my puffy eyes roughly trying to clarify my vision by rubbing the sleep out.

"Josh you gotta eat something, like an apple or even a granola bar?" He tried to persuade but I was not having any of it and shook my head affirmatively. 

"Do you want to talk..." He whispered sympathetically gazing at my disheveled state as I sat up caught in a daze staring at his beige wall. I just shook my head slowly as I felt my eyes well up with tears once again for at least the eight thousandth time in the past 16 hours. 

"Its unfair Law.." I whispered my voice cracking as I spoke. This feeling is a new one for me, I've never felt so helpless in my life and there's nothing in this world that will make me feel better at this moment other than Ivy. 

"I know it is kid, I know.." He whispered draping his muscular arm over my shoulders and giving my shoulder a light squeeze as I felt my posture sink. 

"Grieving's tough, especially when everything happens and piles atop of you at once." Law spoke once again giving my shoulder another light squeeze. 

"Let's get you in a shower and we can discuss where to go from there?" He persuaded and I just nodded my head slowly taking off my hoodie that still smelt like Ivy's signature perfume smell. Letting out a loud sigh I examined the sweatshirt once more before handing it to Law for he could wash it. 

Stepping into the shower, I couldn't help but keep the water on the hottest setting it could go because I needed some sort of feeling. Thought after thought replayed in my scattered head about what I could have done differently, if there was anything to do differently at all. Running my calloused fingers through my chocolate brown hair, I carefully laid my forehead upon the shower wall letting the scolding water droplets cascade down my body. 

"It should've been fucking me. It should've been me!" I yelled slamming my fist off the wall as a couple angry tears fell down my cheeks unacknowledged because of the shower water that continued to fall down my face as well. 

"Josh you alright?" Law knocked lightly upon the door. At first I didn't answer in hopes that he'd go away and pretend he didn't hear that but I was surely mistaken. 

"Josh?" He tried again his knock getting a little louder this time.

"I'm fine." I announced finally shutting off the shower water and stepping out into the chilling air that bit at my scolding skin. Lightly wrapping a towel around my waist, I quickly glanced into the mirror cringing because of the hatred of what I saw.

"Ready to head out?" Law asked as I put on one of his hoodies, this one was black with random lettering upon it.

"To where?" I asked not even looking up as I tied the pair of shoes I was now also borrowing from Law.

"You'll see." He said and with that he exited the room leaving my by myself once again before I slowly got up following him out the front door.