Damned (Alastor x OC)

Ch 8

Alastor's POV

I was sitting in my bed, a relaxed expression on my face.

With a heavy sigh, I put my hands over my face and pressed my palms against my eyes. After a moment of darkness, I raked my hands back through my hair, flattening my ears momentarily.

Her smile flashed through my head.

Her laugh.

The scrunch in her nose, and the freckles I love so much.

No matter how many times I see her...that frost white hair, bright orange eyes...pale, pasty skin.

I can only seem to picture her as my warm, full of life Aria. Every move she makes, every gesture...I see her, and I see mocha hair, warm toned skin...

Caramel eyes...With just a drop of honey.

When she looks at me...I see deep thought in her eyes. Just a moments worth of contemplation.

Because she recognizes me. I know she does.

I don't know...if I want her to remember. This could be the fresh start we were hoping for in the first place...

No boundaries...no secrets.

Most of all, she won't have to carry the sour memories of the past. We can make new memories to replace the one's she lost.

It breaks my heart that she lost the fun times we shared...the late night kisses and playful teasing.

No matter what...one thing is for certain...I will have her heart. I will be there every step of the way, I will watch over her, I will protect her.

I will be there for her.

And this time I'm going to do it right.

Nothing will ever hurt her, not while I'm around. If something does...it better pray to whatever god wants to listen that I'm in a merciful mood.

An upside to this situation is she seems to be settling into the hotel nicely. She's slowly opening up, and completely willing to try and make friends with everyone.

Even though she's a bit awkward.

It's adorable...but I also miss her confidence. I want to help her gain it back. I know that fire is still inside of her, I saw it the day I found her.

I'll help her remember who she was before hell. I'll help her find herself again. That doesn't have to include me...if her memories of me stay locked away, that's fine.

I just want to fix what I've done.

A soft knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts, and I quickly put a smile on my face.

"It's unlocked," I said simply, and the door clicked, opening slowly.

"Hey..." Charlie's soft voice sounded, and I looked over to see the princess with her hair braided, wearing loose night clothes.

Light from the hallway seeped in through the door, and she smiled at me. Her expression was sympathetic.

"Hello, princess," I greeted her, "to what do I owe the visit?"

She clasped her hands in front of her, "how are you...? Are you doing ok?" She asked me gently, and my smile faltered for just a second.

I'm suffocating...

"I'm doing just fine, Charlie," I said, keeping my tone chipper, "I appreciate your concern," I added and she nodded. She had a knowing look in her eyes as she stepped back towards the door, beginning to shut it as she left.

"Ok...if you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me, Alastor..." she said softly, giving me a small smile before the door shut.

A lump formed in my throat, and I could feel the sting behind my eyes as tears threatened to show.

I swallowed hard, my fists clenched in my lap.

Slowly I opened my palm in front of me, flexing my fingers. A small fire erupted and danced in my palm for a second.

Then it slowly formed into the shape of a little woman.

She looked up at me, her big eyes blinking slowly. I watched her as she walked around, and she walked over to my thumb and hugged it, squeezing as tight as she could.

My chest ached, and the little fire smiled up at me. I brought her closer to my face, and she put both of her hands on my nose and tilted her head.

My hand started to shake, my claws digging into my other palm from how hard my fist was clenched.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to stop the tears by distracting myself with pain. It didn't work.

I closed my eyes tightly, my brows knitting together as tears rolled down my cheeks. I sucked in a quiet sob, and then felt the warmth of the fire's tiny hand touch my cheek.

My eyes opened when she sizzled, and I saw her step back with wide eyes and shake her hand. I chuckled softly and sniffled.

"Oh dear, you'll only put yourself out of you comfort me, sweetheart," I said softly, and she just looked at me for a moment.

I watched her, tears flowing from my eyes.

She smiled softly, and stepped forward again. My lips parted in surprise when she hugged my nose, her tiny body beginning to sizzle.

I shut my eyes and grit my teeth, my entire body trembling. She stood and did that until the sizzling stopped, and a chill was left behind.

I opened my eyes and watched as the smoke drifted away and dissipated into nothing. My lips trembled and I slowly closed my fist, bringing it back to my lap.

No matter how hard I tried, the tears wouldn't stop spilling from my eyes. I whimpered softly, trying to hold it in.

I can't...

My hand flew over my mouth to stifle the sob that escaped, and I laid down on my bed, curling up tightly.

Quickly I grabbed my pillow and shoved my face into it, sobbing uncontrollably. My claws dug into the pillow deeply and my stomach muscles hurt from how hard I was crying.

Eventually, my cries remained heavy, but became silent.

Never before have I felt the pain that I'm feeling right now.

I feel like my heart has actually broken. The ache in my chest only gets heavier each time I see her and I have to pretend I don't love her.

And it only gets worse when every time I close my eyes I see her damn smile.

"I love you..." I whimpered into the pillow.

I love you, too...

Her voice, weakly choking the words back to me as she bled out in my arms...that's all I could hear as a response.

Do you still love me...?

I can't wait for the day you tell me you still love me...