a r c a n e [Poems]

u m b r e l l a

I knew what could happen
I knew what would happen
I knew how bad it would hurt when it ended but I ignored it all and went on loving you

I warned myself this would happen
I warned myself that the walls of our love would come crashing down like waves on the beach

Knowing all of this and knowing how bad I had been hurt before I still let you love me

I still let you in
I welcomed you into my heart and gave you every piece of me

But I watched your every move
I watched everything but I chose to ignore all the warning signs

Thinking that if I ignored them they wouldn't exist

But they were still there and they didn't just go away like I hoped they would

I don't think what I did was right either
I don't think it was right how I went on loving you even though there is still so much I don't know about myself and so much that I have yet to fix

The world warns us to not love another before we can love ourself

The world warns us not to lean on another's shoulder for they are human and our love will soon not be enough to ignore all their mistakes

But then there is the other part of the world
Which tells us to love whole heartedly because even if it fails and we fall apart into pieces as small as sand
We can still say we tried

We can say we tried to fix the broken pieces
We tried to glue them back together but there were to many pieces and I didn't have enough glue

But then there are the lucky ones
The ones who walk through the storm of their love and get out unscathed
They leave with only small water droplets stuck to their clothes

They made it out because their lover brought an umbrella

Their lover came prepared to fight the storm with them and therefor they both made it out

But I think I forgot my umbrella...