a r c a n e [Poems]

p a i n l e s s

He asks me what I want
What I crave more then anything in the world

I stare at the wall for a moment
When I realize what I truly want I start to cry

I start "I want.."
"I want to not be in pain any longer"

I want to be happy
I want to not cry at the sight of someone
I want to not be fearful at the sound of someones voice
I don't want there to be flashbacks running through my mind and scaring me once more

I want to be able to sleep at night
I want to be able to go places with out worrying who will be there and who I might run into

I want to not makes jokes about the pain
I want to smirk and it be real
I want to not get hot and sweaty when I am triggered

I just want to be happy.