a r c a n e [Poems]

what ifs

Anxiety, anxiety is this horrible feeling that something bad is always bound to happen and your body is always alert

Anxiety is this funny thing that's basically saying "what if"

some peoples is not as bad but I can feel my body tremble with the fear of the unknown

I can feel my eyes blur as I try to focus on everything around me as thoughts fill my head with "what if.." "what if.."

This feeling never stops it only subsides for a bit then the next thing I know by body is tingling with fear and my lungs start to collapse and I claw at my neck for air but nothing will make the sweet air hasten to my call

Some people do not understand the feeling of every single nerve tingling
Your body's way of telling you something is about to go wrong

Even if this is not true

Even if it was just your mothers warm palm against your shoulder telling you to "have a good day." But you cannot hear her your mind is only focused on the what ifs

What if she hits me

What if she hurts me

What if she asks to see the scars on my body

So I rip my body away from the warmth of her hand and I leave

For my safety is more important then her feelings so even though nothing was wrong I can't stop thinking about the "what ifs"