Agent Lamerok

The new Lancelot

I walked into Harry's office and put my coat on a chair. "May I?" I asked as Harry pointed to a chair which he nods as I sit down. Eggsy goes to the newspaper articles on the walls, "'To pee or not to pee'?" "That was the headline I had the day I defused a dirty bomb in Paris," Harry says smiling slightly. "Germany - 1, England - 5," "Missed that game. I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon," Harry brags a bit. 

Eggsy smiles and goes to point to the newspaper article of Princess Diana and Prince Charles wedding headline, "My first mission. Stopped the assassination of Margaret Thatcher," He said as Eggsy came and took a seat. "Not everybody would thank you for that one," Eggsy comments. "The point is, Eggsy, no one thanked me for any of them. Because it is the nature of a Kingsman that our achievements remain a secret," He taught Eggsy. "A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper three times in their life: When they're born, when they marry, and when they die," "And what about her? Agents like her?" Eggsy points to me. 

"I'm same, sort of. I'm still a gentleman, it's a gender-neutral term in my book." I reply as he just laughs. "Well, that's me fucked then," He says as we both give him a look. "Well, it's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb," "Nonsense," I declare. "Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's state of birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns," He instructed. "Yeah, but how?" Eggsy shrugs. "Alright, first lesson. You should have asked Harry before you took a seat, it's his office." I instruct him as he just scoffs. 

"What about her? She didn't," He points to me. "She's a lady. It's automatic that she be given a seat so she shouldn't have to ask. But, she did anyway," He says as I just nod quietly. "Next lesson, how to make a proper martini," He says as Harry gets up. Eggsy sighs, "Yes, Harry!" They both get up and start to walk out. "Aren't you coming?" Eggsy asks as I just shake my head. "You two go on, I'll stay here," I said as Eggsy hesitantly nodded and left. 

A few seconds later, I sighed and poured myself a drink from Harry's office. I quickly gulped it all down and left to go to my room, where I immediately plopped down on my bed and began my normal routine when I'm in my room at night. 

I was alone, so I finally let tears come out of my eyes, everything I had been holding back just came flooding out of my eyes and my body started shaking. I realized I was having a panic attack and it was reaching its peak rapidly. 

All the embarrassment, anger, love, joy, hate, regret, confusion, disgust, relief, fear, pain all came flooding out and I didn't know how to process it. I just kept shaking, crying and feeling everything. I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, I couldn't do anything, I was seeing black spots all around me.

I tried to scream quietly, but nothing came out. Eventually, I started to calm down and started to pass out. Until everything faded and everything turned black. 

-

10-year-old me was working on homework when the door opened, "Mummy! Daddy!" I ran to the door and hugged both of them. 

They hugged me back as my mother picked me up, "Hello, my little spy girl!" She said and kissed my cheek. "How's our little spy doing?" My dad kisses my cheek again. 

"I was doing homework! Did you catch any bad guy's today?" I asked smiling waiting for their stories. "No, today wasn't that type of day, sweetie." My mother said still holding me and then putting me down. 

"We actually lost someone day, sweets," Harry said regretfully as he went and poured himself a drink. "Sweetie, let's go sit at the table." My mum said pulling my hand over to the table. 

My dad poured my mother a drink, and then poured me apple juice. "We want to talk to you," Harry says sitting down. "What about, Daddy?" They looked at each other regretfully.