Forever Yours: How it all Began

Chapter 49

Just as Jaxon said, he had picked me up within an hour. As I walked towards his rental, he jumped out of the vehicle and met me at the passenger door. We hugged and told one another how much we missed each other. Before I knew it, Jaxon kissed my lips. He didn't linger long, but enough to remind me of what I'd really been missing.

"I hope I didn't upset you. I had to taste you again. I miss you so much." I could never be upset with Jaxon. I knew he wouldn't try anything more than a kiss.

We got in the vehicle and drove to a steakhouse on the south side of Huntsville. Jaxon got a table for two in the back of the restaurant. It was a nice little private area that was dimly lit. As we were seated, the waitress, who couldn't keep her eyes off of Jaxon took our drink order. She asked Jaxon if he lived around the area and he told her he's visiting family and friends. Well, I guess it wasn't a complete lie.

"I see I still can't take you anywhere without other women drooling over you."

"I don't know why any woman would drool over me."

"Because you're sexy Jaxon. What woman wouldn't drool. Hell when I came to my senses, I drooled over you."

He smiled at me. "Yeah I remember how you would look at me when we were together. I remember the things we did when we were together, the vacations, horseback riding, skating, cooking, working out in more ways than one."

A little heat started to rise up my cheek. "Yeah I remember all of that. We shared some really good times together."

The waitress came back with our drinks and we placed the order for our entrees. We talked about everything from how I felt after he left, how I felt when he told me he found someone, how I felt when he told me he was engaged. I told him that I actually wanted him to wait for me. Now it's too late. Jaxon would be getting married in forty eight hours and I was now engaged to Andre. We both expressed our feelings, love and support for one another. After we were done eating, Jaxon paid the tab, I left the tip and we walked out of the restaurant laughing about something crazy Jaxon had just said. I truly missed our conversations; how we could go from serious to hysterically laughing at the same subject.

On our way to the bowling alley, Sharie called. Jaxon looked at the phone and rolled his eyes. "The only reason she's calling is because she knows you're going to be out with us. She never calls to check on me."

Before he answered, I blurted out, "why are you marrying her?"

He stayed quiet because he knew I had more to say.

"You told me that she made you happy but you don't look happy. Your light is dim Jaxon. You're not the same. Your smile is forced, you seemed uptight with her, almost like you really didn't want to be bothered. And when you walked in the restaurant last night, you were barely holding her hand. I'm asking you again Jaxon, why are you marrying her?

He pulled up in the parking lot of the bowling alley and parked. He turned and looked at me.

"Before I answer you, I want to say that I thought you had lost your connection with me. Now I know that you are still attentive of my actions, what I say and how I say it. Being in Japan without family and friends makes you yearn for something to help fill the void. The first year there, all I could think about was you. There were so many times that I thought about coming back home to work here so we could be together, but I knew that if I did, you would have felt pressured into staying. I didn't want that for you because you deserved to start the career you'd planned. Tahleea I knew the day I was told my job had been approved that I didn't want to go. I wanted to see where our relationship would go, even with you moving back to Texas. So I tried moving on. I went out with a few ladies but none could make me feel the way you did. Then I met Sharie at a company function. I fell for her sexiness at first but then when we started talking, she seemed to have more substance about her. She was able to speak my language in business and sexually. Though she didn't completely fill the void, I settled for what she gave me because it's not fair to ever compare another woman to you. At first she was doing things for me that reminded me so much of you. That's when I started feeling like we could be together. After a year of dating, she quit work saying that she wanted to make sure she had the time to take care of me. I didn't have to lift a finger. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. At first her changes were subtle, but then two years into our relationship I started noticing more funds withdrawn from my account. It started out small but now she takes out seven to eight thousand a month and I don't know why. I pay all of the bills. I bought her a brand new car. She has a card to use for shopping. Then she started hanging out with these women she said she met at the country club. She's rarely home because she involves herself in various elite functions. Tee I don't want to be alone." 

I unbuckled my seatbelt and grabbed my friend for a tight embrace. I should have pressed a little more when he told me he was involved, but allowed my self loathing prevent me from being the friend he needed.

"Jaxon I'm so sorry for not pressing you to be straight up with me. I felt that something was off, but I was too busy feeling sad for myself. When you told me that you were dating, I felt like you had punched me in the gut. In some way, I hoped that you would wait for me. I know it wasn't fair of me to feel like that. Five years is too long to be alone. Plus I didn't want to continue to talk about your relationship with her. I haven't been the friend that I should have been, the friend that you needed. Since we're being honest, tell me the truth, does your heart tell you she's the one?"

He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes. "My heart knows she's not the one."

"Then again, I ask why? Are you choosing unhappiness for the sake of having someone around? The feeling is only going to get worse with time. You don't deserve it Jaxon! You are a wonderful man that deserves a woman that recognizes who you are spiritually, not financially. She could have taken care of you without quitting her job. I did, didn't I?"

"Yes you did, but I'll never find a woman like you Tahleea."

"No, you won't find a woman like me, but you will find one that would want to give just as much to you as you give to her. You and whoever she is, deserve for you to be patient. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you owe it to yourself to follow your heart."

Jaxon looked at me with unshed tears.

"Ok, I'll follow my heart. What is Andre's cell number?"

I wasn't quite sure why he would want Andre's number.

"I was going to see if  Andre would be ok with me flying back to Dallas on Sunday and moving in with you guys."

"What are you talking about?"

"You told me to follow my heart. Will he share?" Jaxon doubled over laughing. "I wish you could have seen your facial expressions. I couldn't go on with my fit. You didn't know whether to hug me or have me committed." 

We both started laughing. This is what I miss. We went from having a serious conversation to laughing like we'd been told the funniest joke ever. I hugged and kissed my friend on the cheek and told him I'd support whatever decision he made.

A/N

My heart hurts for Jaxon. He deserves someone that unconditionally loves him.