Pain Is Power

50: Recall

AMELIA'S POV

My brain felt so scrabbled, everyone was telling me stories and important things about them and our relationships but they all just looked like strangers to me. Every single person in this room. Yelena said they're my family but the only people I know is her, my dad and Peppa. And Natasha but I don't have positive feelings towards her. I tried to trust her after she told me about Junior but I didn't have anything in me but anger.

Sam was telling me a story about us, a Christmas party or something, I zoned out when my head started to get fuzzy and I couldn't concentrate anymore. "I think that's enough for today," Natasha says standing up from her seat. She's always close by, lurking in doorways, stood in the corner of the room watching, waiting. "I didn't get to the best part." He complained. "I'm just really tired," I say standing up and climbing over legs to get to the exit. "Do you want to eat dinner, tonight sweetie?" Peppa asked. Peter looked at me with hopeful eyes, he's my brother apparently... not biologically but we were close. "If I'm awake," I say, sleep is important right now and it's also the only time where my brain feels somewhat normal. 

Natasha follows behind me up the stairs. "Thanks," I say for getting me out of there. She always knew when I had, had enough. No one else seemed to notice when I was getting tired or overwhelmed with everything but she did. "Anytime." She says opening my door. I looked around like I did every time trying to remember being here, anything about this room but I had nothing. Nothing was-"There's a photo missing." I say pointing to my bedside table. "Huh?" "There's a photo missing," I repeated going over to it to see if it had fallen off. "You remember what was on your bedside?" "I guess..." She smiled. "What was the photo like?" She asked me sitting in my vanity chair. I shrugged sitting down to think. Not being able to recall information was frustrating it infuriated me I have never forgotten a single thing in my life. "It was black and white." "Yeah, it was." "And it had three people in it." She nodded her smile growing. "It was Christmas..." Come on who was in the photo... Think Amelia. Think. "Dad... Me and... You?" I said looking at her she blinked a few times before nodding. "Yeah." "Where is it?" I asked wanting to see if the picture in my head was the correct one. "I took it... I didn't want you to get upset if you didn't remember us so I just hid it until you remembered." She left the room and came back with a book too. "This was also on your nightstand, under Alice and the wonderland but I read that one to you already so I put it back on the bookcase." "You finished reading my book for me?" "I read it to you whilst you were... You always liked to be doing something so I thought." "Thanks." She nodded handing me the book and frame. 

Pride and prejudice... I put that down and examine the photo. "I look happy." "You were... This was before we left." She tells me sitting beside me on the bed now leaving a distance. "Where did we go?" "Can you try and remember?" She asked. "Can't you just tell me?" She gave me a knowing look. "Bruce said we should encourage you to recall." I could never recall anything though so why would I bother trying and getting all worked up. "It was Christmas... you told me that." Christmas... I looked at the photo studying it, we looked nice maybe it was Christmas day? No Natasha wore her PJ's all day on Christmas..."The Christmas party. We got ready at some apartment with a dog." "Yeah, yeah we did."

I sat quietly for a moment. "You wore your PJ's all day on Christmas," I tell her realising I remembered something completely random. "I did yeah." "What did I wear?" I asked standing up and going to my closest. She followed. She scanned the clothes I had far too many there was no need for all this. "You wore this." She pulled out a sand coloured suit. "With this." A white coset top. "You looked amazing." She tells me retrieving her hand from the fabric. 

"Why'd you take the book? Were you reading it?" "No, I took it because you had something in it." "What?" "A photo." "Why?" "You used random things as bookmarks. One time you used a feather Morgan picked up off the floor." "Gross." I chuckled.