Mina
It's been Almost a week after Chaeyoung literally gone out of nowhere. No calls, no messages, nothing. Day by day, my fear of loosing her again is getting bigger and bigger.
I'm slowly getting hopeless.
Lots of what if's and questions always invades my thoughts as the days slowly passes by. Her absence is killing me but I've no choice. I must wait for her.
She's gone but this time, it's because of me. It is really my fault and right now, all I can think and do is to wait for her, again.
"Now, I realized how does a smart person sucks."
"Jeon Somi!"
"What? I'm stating a fact here, Mina"
I rolled my eyes and just annoyingly checked the unending paperworks on my desk while Somi kept on blabbering stuffs to annoy me— intentionally.
Somi visited me here in my office as soon as she found out what happened between me and Chaeyoung from the last time the we met and As expected, she threw lots of advices and sermons to me until it began to annoy me. It's as if she's even having fun spitting some words that seems to be a rap lines that doesn't even amused me.
I chose to stay silent and tried to focus on my work while she kept on blabbering words that I didn't even pay attention to until she snapped at me.
"Mina!"
"What?"
"Fuck you, I said go and find your wife!"
Once again, I rolled my eyes hoping she'll finally realized that I'm really annoyed by now.
"Why would I when she clearly said she'll come back to me?"
"Damn, you're annoying. Listen here you brat, are you really just going to wait for her til she come back to you?"
"Yes—"
"But why?"
"Because Somi, that's what she said so. I don't have a choice but to wait for her and you know that—"
"Oh my God, you really are dumb"
This time, I glared at Somi. She's not making any sense right now and she's literally getting into my nerves.
"Listen here, Ms. Dumb CEO friend of mine—"
"I'm not dumb—"
"You are. Now listen to me!"
Somi ain't the type to shout or even raised a voice to me even when she's mad so hearing her raging voice did some wonders to me and made me followed her commands and listen to her
"You shouldn't wait all the time, sometimes it's better if you'd make some effort to have her back. Mina, do you want to wait another days, months or even years for her to come back? Remember this, Chaeyoung left once again but this time, she left because she's scared and she felt so judged by you. She's scared and maybe she began overthinking things like what would happen if you two decided to start over again and suddenly she became depressed again one day or maybe an episode occur. What will happen? What would you do? Tap her back and say, stop the drama and it's just a depression? What would you think she'd do if that happen again? Mina, she left because she's scared of the things like that to happen. She maybe even scared and end up hurting herself if that happen. She's overthinking things because of the additional trauma you just gave her and now what? You're just going to wait here 'cause that's what she told you so?"
"Wait, why does it feels like you are blaming me now? She was the one who left in the first place, Somi. I tried to talk to her but she chose to shut me down and leave. Well, that's what she always do in the first place and you know that!"
"God, She left because of you, Mina. You should make an effort this time rather than waiting 'til she gets back because in the first place, you're the one who's at fault here. She just left you to save herself and heal the damage that you've done to her. Besides, she didn't even really left. All this time, she's just around, waiting for you."
Waiting for me?
"Wait, what do you mean by that? do you know where is she? All this time?"
"Everyone knows where she is, Mina. Everyone knows"
What the hell is happening!
"Why didn't any of you told me where is she? You know I've been waiting for her—"
"We all know that You're just literally waiting without doing nothing, Mina. We just want you to make an effort even just this once. God, Can't you still realized that this is actually your fault? Can't you still realized how much pain you just gave her? Can't you just still realized anything at all?"
I turned around and tried to calm myself down. I don't want to argue anymore, I'm already tired.
"Mina, what would you do if I'd told you where is she now?"
"If you'll tell me where is she then I'll go to her—"
"Why? Why would you go to where she is? I thought you'll just going to wait here like you always do? "
"Why would I do that?"
"Because it is what your good at!"
"Jeon Somi!"
I stood and slammed my hands on the table before glaring at Somi. This is the first time I felt so mad at her and I hate this
I feel so mad at her and to everyone. Why they didn't told me everything in the first place when they all know I've been waiting for Chaeyoung so bad.
"Mina, I'm so tired of this roller-coaster ride relationship that you and Chaeyoung had but I won't tell you anything. I'm not going to help you this time. It's for you to find out where she is. At least make some effort and feel sorry for what you've done to her. You've gone too far this time, Mina."
"Look, can't you just tell me where she is—"
"No. Make an effort, Mina."
Somi walked out of the door and left me with an anger building inside of me. Out of frustration, I swept everything on my desk making every single thing on top of it fell until I heard something that creates a noise that got my attention
I gasped when my eyes landed on the broken picture frame of Chaeyoung with Yuna and Ryujin. It's the picture that Chaeyoung gave me where she's busy cooking stuffs with Ryujin and Yuna. It's the one captured by mom.
Staringing at the photo gave me a pang of guilt and regrets that slowly gave me realizations.
Damn, I guess I really fucked up
"Shit,I'm so sorry for messing everything up,baby. I really am.."
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Last ud for now. Don't worry I'll try to ud again as soon as I had the chance. Oh and thank you all for waiting and supporting my stories.
Please Stay safe and stay healthy everyone
I love yawa all 🥰🖤
