Mina
"Mina, did something happened?"
I immediately smiled and shake my head as I continue eating my desired meal. I am now sitting next to Somi in a certain beanery around the vicinity as what we both planned while having our lunch together. We started some random conversations when I noticed Somi stopped eating and began staring at me.
"Why are you looking at me like that, Somi?"
"Is there something that bothers you,Mina?"
Of course, there's something that has been bothering me and I don't know what to do about it. The truth is, I am so guilty of what I've done to Chaeyoung earlier and the more I think about it, the more I feel so guilty and wronged.
"I'm fine Somi."
"No, you're clearly not."
I just choose to shrug my shoulders off and tried my best to avoid Somi's wondering stares and gazes.
"Is it about her? Is it about Chaeyoung?"
"Somi, let's just not talk about her—"
"Why, did she do something again? Did she hurt you?"
"No, Somi. Actually, It's the other way around."
As expected, Somi looked at me with a great confusion written all over her face which later on followed by a questioning look.
"What do you mean by that, Mina?"
After meditating few minutes whether I should tell her or not, I end up doing the first and narrating her what happened earlier. As expected, Somi seems so surprise but thankfully she chose to listened attentively first and let me narrate everything until I'm done.
Somi became utterly silent for a few minutes which worried me. I'm scared she might end up hating me because of my rude actions towards Chaeyoung.
"Are you mad at me, Somi?"
Somi looked at me before grabbing my hands and smiled. Her signature genuine smile that she always have calms me as if telling me she's not mad at all.
"Silly. You know that's impossible right?"
"Well—"
"But Mina, you're actions were a bit too much. I can see that Chaeyoung is really trying her best to win you back and to have your trust again but you're pushing her away. Mina, tell me. Do you want another sleepless nights without her again?
"No—"
"Do you want her to leave you again?"
"No—"
"Do you really want her out of your life again?"
"No—"
"Do you still love her?"
"Of course—"
"Then, give her a chance. Give yourselves another chance and trust her, Mina."
I bit my lower lips and tried to surpress my emotions. I really do still love her but I'm scared. Like I said, I'm afraid she's just doing things to manipulate me.
"Mina, I know you're scared but sometimes, Love is all about taking chances. It's always better to take risk than to have regrets not doing so, Mina."
"But Somi—"
"Trust me, Chaeyoung really loves you as much as you do, Mina."
For a moment, I was stunned by Somi who's now looking at me straight in the eyes as if encouraging me to take chances. She smiled once again and right there and then, all my current worries disappear in an instant. She really have this kind of power that calms and comforts you whenever you needed one and I'm So grateful for it.
I stared back into her eyes and wonder what does she truly feels towards me. Does she really have feelings for me or am I just assuming things?
"How about you, Somi?
"Me? What do you mean by that, Mina?"
I continued staring at Somi and tried to read what's on her mind but as usual, I see nothing. All I see was her adorable brown eyes that speaks nothing yet hides so many things.
"I won't beat around the bush anymore, Somi. Do you love me?"
I don't know where did I get the nerve to ask her straight forwardly when In fact, I'm all nervous and scared of what would she say.
"M-mina—"
"Just answer me. Do you love me, Somi? "
Somi took a sip on her drink and let another minute passed by until she smiled and once again, look at me like the way she usually do.
"Yes, Mina. I love you"
"S-Somi—"
"Remember what I told you before, Mina? Remember when I asked you what if I really love you?"
"S-Somi—"
"That's not just a plain prank to make you smile, Mina. It is true. I really love you."
I gasped. Her sudden confession surprised me. I always had a hint of what she might truly feels but knowing the truth still shocked me.
"Somi—"
"But please don't get me wrong, Mina. I don't have any plan or intention to get in between you and Chaeyoung. Like I said, this is not my story, but yours and Chaeyoung and besides, you made yourself clear that you'll always choose our friendship more than anything else for that's just what we really are supposed to be."
"But Somi, I think I love you too—"
"How about Chaeyoung?"
"Well, I love her—"
"Are you sure? Do you really love her?"
"Of course, Somi but I also think I am—"
Somi hastily put a finger on my lips to stop me from anything I'm about to say. For a moment, I frowned at her for doing so but then again, she smiled.
"There's a big difference between being sure and not, Mina. Like you said, you really love her. You are sure of it. You are sure about your feelings towards her unlike what you feels towards me. Mina, don't confuse yourself even more. Let's say, you are just fond of me for being there for you whenever you needed a shoulder and it's okay. I appreciate it but being fond is way different than being in love, Mina. Maybe you really do love me as well but I'm sure that you only love me as a friend, a family or maybe a sister but not more than.."
Somi's words enlightened me.
She's right. I love her but as a friend and a family. I don't love her the way I love chaeyoung like I used to think. I guess I'm just too overwhelmed for having her around me that I end up confusing myself.
God, I am so dumb.
Now, I realized I've been pushing away Chaeyoung for nothing but only trying to save myself from anything that is not yet even happening.
"Somi, I think I fucked up!"
"You really do, Mina. Now go and chase your wife—"
"But what about you?"
Somi literally smacked my head and glared at me.
"Go now before she end up leaving you again."
"Thanks, somi. I really owe you a lot—"
"I said go, you idiot"
Ah,fuck! She's right. I better go now and chase Chaeyoung. I hastily move and deserted Somi alone not forgetting to flash a thankful smile to her.
I immediately drive home while hoping Chaeyoung was still there. Damn, I just wish she didn't go somewhere again or else I'm gonna rip my own fucking mouth for pushing her away!
Im so sorry, Chaeyoung. Please, wait for me, baby..
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Stay safe and stay healthy everyone.
I love yawall🥰🖤
