The Will To

T H I R T Y - O N E (fresh starts)

The holiday spirit was like a sinking ship in the days following Christmas. There was something tragic about removing decorations and disassembling the Christmas tree, and it was absolutely depressing to watch as my mom stowed away her Christmas movie collection, almost teary eyed. One day. That was all it took to disband the accumulated cheer geared at a single holiday, and, as soon as it was over, an emptiness settled that felt a lot like the bleak weather outside, which had, just a day prior, been suitable for the festive season.

The winter lull. It was a period of bone chilling cold accompanied with the exponentially fading desire to keep up with resolutions made during a more cheerful time. Reality set in. Life started operating under its normal working hours and, before any of us knew what had happened, we were walking the same steps as we had the previous year, counting down the days until we could start getting excited for that elusive, meaningless Christmas cheer.

I'd always claimed to have been born cynical.

Although, this year was off to a different start than the previous. The general high of the holidays inevitably led to a low, and it could sometimes take a while to find the next thing to reach the threshold for excitement or happiness.

I experienced my next high just a few days after the semester started.

The cafeteria was flocked with people, most of whom bore dreary expressions. The weather outside was dusty grey and the grounds were covered in a thick sheet of ice. The general air was cool and damp. Everything aligned with the post holiday blues. Except for one thing.

When I saw Rey sitting at a table near the end of the cafeteria, my spirits spiked, and, with my lunch in hand, I traipsed towards him.

"You went with the chicken patty, really?" I said, standing beside him

Rey lifted his chin, a smile edging onto his face after the initial shock of someone randomly calling out his choice in lunch subsided. However, a wave of shock struck me when I noticed that in the two weeks that we'd been on break, Rey had grown a beard. It was dark and thick and suited him quite nicely. My feet became a bit unstable and I shuffled.

"Yeah, I have the diet of a middle schooler." He peered at my lunch tray. "Nice. A piece of pizza. It appears you do too."

Words. I had none. They were gone. I stood speechless in front of Rey, still staring at his beard and wondering how it could possibly zap the English language from my mouth.

He narrowed his eyes. "You good, Will?"

"What? Oh. Yep. Fine. Good as gold."

What. The. Hell.

Shaking my head quickly, I said, "So, you gonna be a gentleman and ask me to sit?"

As soon as I said it, I noticed the tray of food in the opposing seat, making it glaringly obvious that Rey was not eating alone. And then, as if the world liked to time things perfectly when it suited itself, someone greeted me from behind. I whipped around, spotting a pretty girl with olive skin and dark, glossy hair plaited over her shoulder. Smiling, she walked towards the seat that was obviously hers and I felt a wave of irritation.

If I had been thinking clearly, I would have put it together. But I wasn't thinking clearly. I was still thinking about Rey's new beard.

"Um, Will, this is my sister, Bini."

I lost all my words again.

"Hi," Bini said, and I realized I was a complete idiot. Of course, she was Rey's sister. They didn't exactly look similar, but they had many features in common. Whereas Rey had a straight nose and large, deep eyes, Bini had a small but wide nose and almond eyes that were closer set. Their smiles were the same though, full and bright.