The Will To

F O R T Y - F O U R (not alone)

The truth about Higgins spread like a game of telephone. The entire campus was buzzing with the news. It was all anyone talked about. Everywhere I went, people spoke in hushed tones while eyeing me, recounting what they'd heard with shocked disbelief. I wondered how the news would change as it traveled down the line, certainly morphing into a vague interpretation of the truth and painting me in a negative light, once again.

However, after several days, I was very much surprised to learn that the story had remained true to what had unfolded—aside from, of course, the part where I'd went Bruce Lee on Higgins' ass and delivered a series of roundhouse kicks to the face, knocking him both unconscious and eternally undignified.

But that was a small deviation that I could accept based solely on the overwhelming pleasure it gave me.

I'd never had so much attention in all my life.

Just kidding. I'd spend the better part of the last three years dodging attention, though I'd never had it quite like this.

Students on campus seemed to disregard my previous label. Instead of the girl who'd sleep with any guy she met and who'd fabricated the attack from two years ago, I was the girl who'd subdued her attacker and caught the man responsible for the campus rapes—and who'd saved countless women around campus.

My history hadn't been rewrote. It was still there, but a new page had been turned.

Because of my dedication and will to step in when others wouldn't, I'd put an end to the atrocities cloaked in a dark disguise around campus. The person I actually was had finally been exposed and it was a strange feeling. For so long, I'd lived under the shadow of an event and label that had ruled me, and my freedom had been linked to my inability to give up.

Higgins wore a disguise that may have fooled me, but it was my perseverance that ultimately exposed the truth. I promised myself I'd remember this fact, and to never forget where the last three years had led me.

A day after he'd been detained, Higgins was arrested on accounts of stalking, assault, premediated rape, and three counts of rape. He'd been transferred to the county jail while he awaited trial. A date wasn't set yet, but I'd already agreed to give my testimony. Apart from Lyla Evans, the other two women, Iesha Okpeke and Hannah Bridges, had also agreed to provide their testimonies at his trial.

I'd made many trips to the campus police department in the last couple of weeks, and each time I had to question whether I was in the right building. My presence usually caused disgruntlement and irritation, as I typically showed up at the department with news of an attack or had been involved in some sort of altercation.

I was a household name in the campus police department, and I still was, but for an entirely different reason now. The officers all looked at me differently; respect filled their expressions instead of annoyance. Many of them had offered me heartfelt comments on my handling of the situation. They were grateful. It was a complete shift, and I wasn't quite used to it yet.

One person hadn't changed. Dan looked at me the same as he always had, but it wasn't until recently that I realized the glint in his eyes had been admiration. He'd always seen me for who I was, recognizing my qualities for strengths when everyone else had seen them weaknesses. Though it was discomforting to know that I was only now realizing he was on my side, the fact warmed me. Dan, as he'd said, had always had my back.

It was late in the evening and I'd stopped by the campus police department to review parts of my statement. Dan was situated at his cluttered desk, leaned back in his chair to expose his round belly and thumbing his mustache as he read over my corrected statement.

For whatever reason, the notion struck me with force as I watched him, reminding me that he'd never stopped believing in me, and I felt the desire to express my gratitude.