The Will To

T H I R T Y - F O U R (afterhours)

Rey came with me to my self-defense class. Apart from Steven, who appeared to be pretending that we were both magnets and kept an impressive distance from me throughout class, he was the only guy in the studio. I'd felt inclined to tell Steven that there were no hard feelings regarding the happenings at the last class, but the closer I got, the farther he repelled.

It was the first class back from break, and everyone was getting into the swing of things. (I'd never outgrow a good pun.) Talia explained that we wouldn't be practicing escaping holds but would instead complete a kickboxing circuit while later working on voicing our boundaries. So, after a sweaty session filled with punches and kicks, we each took turns relaying a specific boundary that we wanted to practice. Many of the women chose examples from work, and it made me wonder how brutal the typical American office was.

Rey watched quietly beside me as we both sat on the floor. Jade, the woman who voiced her desire to avoid the boundary-setting lesson during the first class months ago, was up now, practicing her specific example with Talia.

"Come on, Jade, it's just a drink," Talia said, assuming the role of a pushy coworker. "One drink. Don't be boring. Come on, come out and have fun. You know you will."

"I don't want to," Jade stated harshly.

"You're no fun," Talia said. "I thought you'd be fun. Most girls your age are. Come on, just one drink. Prove to me you know how to have fun."

"I don't want to get a drink," she repeated.

Talia placed a hand on her shoulder. "God, Jade, relax, would you? The bar's only five minutes away. Come one, everyone's going. We can walk together."

"Get your hand off my shoulder. Don't touch me." Jade shoved Talia's hand. "And I don't want a drink. Stop asking."

"God, whatever," Talia said and took a step back, placing her hands on her hips and regaining her normal demeanor.

Jade's chest was heaving at the conclusion. Talia offered her a flickering smile and said, "Nice work, Jade," but Jade didn't respond. Her breathing grew labored. When she finally turned around, the overhead lights reflected off the glimmer of tears welling in her eyes, which she swiped away.

"If you need to go outside and take a breather, you're more than wel—"

"I'm fine," Jade said curtly, cutting off Talia as she took a seat.

Talia nodded. "Okay, nice work, everyone. Remember, setting boundaries is all about being direct and assertive. Tell the person that their action is wrong and instruct them what they need to do to correct it. Take action if necessary. You always, always have the right to say no." She paused, clasping her hands. "Alright, let's do a cool down and then we're done for the day."

After we completed a simple yoga routine, Talia dismissed us. I continued to sit on the floor as the women filtered out of the studio. Rey sat beside me. Steven stood awkwardly in a corner and skidded towards the exit when my eyes landed on him.

"I think he's afraid of me," I said.

Talia hummed. "I think that's a safe judgment."

"I mean, he knows that... you told him, right? About what happened."

"I told him that your actions were justified and he has no reason to assume he did anything wrong."

"I don't think it worked," I said.

"He'll come around." Talia glanced at Rey. "Did you enjoy your second self-defense class?"

"Oh," Rey began, "Um, yeah. Yeah, I did. It was a lot different from the first."