The Will To

T H I R T Y - E I G H T (conclusions)

 My mind was a vacuum, collecting every thought that entered its orbit. I was circulating with thoughts when I got home, and over the course of hours spent pacing around my apartment, the thoughts had whittled into fully developed ideas. I knew in my gut what I had seen was wrong. Something was very wrong.

I'd forgone lunch. I'd forgone my last class. I'd forgone everything except my determination to uncover what I'd witnessed on the grassy knoll outside the mathematics building.

The last few weeks had been distracting. I'd become lazy, pushing everything that I promised myself I'd set right to the wayside. It had been two years since I was attacked, and I'd spent every waking moment since trying to rectify it, arming myself with the skills and tools necessary to obtain justice. I'd skipped the Greek Parties last weekend, opting to spend the days with Rey instead. Not that I regretted my time with him, but I realized now how distracted I'd been.

The women on campus needed me. The women being attacked and raped needed me. And this latest revelation was enough to jump start my motivation into solving the case again.

Watching Reid make a purchase from Victor felt like putting on glasses for the first time. Everything came into focus. My gut immediately knew something was off, and I'd spent all afternoon dissecting every interaction I'd had with him. Reid was in possession of the date rape drug. He had to be; it was what Victor carried, according to Dan. And, based on their casual encounter, it appeared as though it wasn't the first time Reid had met Victor.

More images came to life. Pieces started twisting and turning. Events I'd overlooked in the last few months suddenly assembled into a realization.

Reid had been right in front of me the entire time, and despite my obsession with my plan, I'd look past him. His parents were divorced. His dad was a womanizer, whose behavior had apparently rubbed off on him, as Reid slept around too. It was obvious he had little respect for women, exhibited by his indifference to the sexual assault on campus, barely even granting it acknowledgement. I'd studied psychology in depth and knew how a person could disguise fundamental pieces of themselves to blend in. Most rapists were normal people in daily life.

While Reid wasn't walking around campus pretending to be the golden boy or was particularly charming, certain events in his past could have shaped him into the person coming to life behind my eyes. Despite Reid maintaining an ample sex life, I knew rape wasn't about sexual gratification—it was about control, about domination. Many rape offenders were young men who felt the urge to assert power.

It all fit, and I'd missed it. Everything pointed to Reid. I thought back to all my encounters with him. He was always present right after the rapes. They'd always happened in close proximity to his fraternity. The black wolf mask I'd seen at his fraternity hadn't been a figment of my imagination; it had been there...

And now I knew he was buying the date rape drug.

It didn't matter what Dan had said about the women not having it in their systems. What kind of person bought the date rape drug?

Night had fallen, like the sun had plummeted from the sky. All of a sudden, I was sitting on my couch enveloped in darkness, thoughts of Reid revolving inside my head, affirming my suspicions to be true with each rotation.

Reid was the rapist.

The door cracked open and Nola entered, startling when she saw me and lifting a hand to her chest.

"Jesus, Will. What the hell? Why're you sitting in the dark? And why do you look like a crazed maniac?"

I ran a hand over my wild hair, which I'd contained in a sloppy ponytail.