Shane’s POV
We used to be close, really close. Then I’m not entirely sure what happened. One day you were there, holding me and telling me you’d never leave, that you’d always be there for me if I needed you; then something happened on a stupid night out and you haven’t spoken to me since. In all honesty, part of me doesn’t blame you for beginning to ignore me, start speaking to someone else and calling them your best friend; I mean, why would anyone want to speak to me anyway? I’m not slim, or beautiful, or popular. Not like them.
I see you all the time, you know. On various social media sites, commenting and tweeting to other friends; Yet, every time I send you a text I get ignored, and every time I reblog something I think you’d like or favourite one of your tweets in desperate attempt to grab your attention, nothing works. They’re petty attempts, I will admit, and there’s a high chance that I’m over-thinking things, but Drew; you know what I’m like. You know fully well my anxiety hits the roof and I begin to convince myself that I’m a complete waste of space and everyone hates me; Why are you fuelling the voices reasons?
I’m afraid of losing you, Drew; Very, very afraid.
Before all this shit happened, we were practically joint at the hip; Never seeing one without the other. In a morning we’d text to make sure the other had slept okay, before meeting up around two hours later where we’d stay together until around 1am, then repeating the same process the next day. However, since that night out you haven’t responded, or haven’t bothered with any messaging device or am yet to answer the doorbell when I come to visit; I don’t understand why. I mean, yes, we had a little slip up in our relationship, and yes, I know I can be annoying and horrifically clingy on occasion, but I can’t cope.
Releasing a small whimper I curled in on myself more, finding the protection the position brought me a little comforting. My phone was held tight to my chest as I stared out into the darkness of the room, as if on watch for any slight hints of your intentions being revealed to me in my own small bedroom. It’d been a month since the last contact we’d had, and things had been gradually becoming harder and harder each day. The voices were getting louder, the internal cuts were getting deeper and tears forming in my eyes were a regular appearance; I was deteriorating, and you didn’t even realise.
Giving myself one last try before I gave up on you for good I unlocked my phone, tapping a few buttons until creating a new message.
Shane S.: Drew. I know you’d probably want to ignore this message, but please read it. It’ll be the last one, I promise. I’m sorry, I truly am; I fucked up and I freely admit it. That night we went out it was completely my fault, but you must understand that we drunk so much more than usual. I had no idea what was happening. You must have realised that, Drew. I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything, I promise. I didn’t mean to kiss you; I don’t even remember it happening until Kier told me the next morning. Please, just speak to me again; I never realised how much I relied on you to keep me somewhat mentally stable until now - I’m lost. PLEASE.
Resisting the urge to add the usual ‘x’ on the end of the message I sent it then locked the phone once more, accepting defeat while multiple reasons to stay in this bed forever rang through my head. However, a sudden warm glow erupted from my phone, presenting me with a new message from the one person capable of destroying these thoughts for good. The screen light shone in my eyes, revealing my tear-stained cheeks in the darkness, but also the small smile on my lips.
Drew W.: Come over. We’ll talk it out. x
Shane S.: Thank you. I’ll be there soon. x
Taking a deep breath I wiped my eyes, releasing a small breathy chuckle before leaving my bed quickly to dress.
