I wasn’t going to do it. I had told Kier myself when we met up the other week that I wasn’t going to. It was stupid. Those petty sites never worked, and even if they did, the relationships never seemed to last long. I mean, how did I know that the person I was supposedly ‘compatible’ with, was the same person I was speaking to?
“Mate, it’s fine.” Kier told me, emphasising the syllable of the last word while rolling his eyes in my direction.
“No, it isn’t.” I boldly replied, practically growling as I forcefully shoved my hands into my coat pockets. “A dating site?! I’m not that desperate.”
“I’m not saying you are, don’t be so protective.” He responded with and I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, shaking me slightly. “Just think about it, yeah?”
And I have been thinking about it; I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Part of me wants to go for it, give a website a chance for a month or so. I might find someone and if I don’t, there’s always a ‘delete account’ button. However, another part of me wants to promptly punch Kier in the face while bellowing for him to “mind his own damn business.”
Yet, as I sat myself down in front of the TV on a gloomy winter morning, I couldn’t help but lean over to the miniscule coffee table and grab my laptop, speedily typing in the password then load the browser. Admittedly, I hadn’t been in a relationship in years, and even that one wasn’t the most stable. I wanted to settle down now, I wasn’t getting any younger and I needed someone to love, and maybe love me in return. It sounded absolutely pathetic - at least I was admitting it - but I was lonely. Not that Kier needed to know that.
Leaning back into the sofa I stared at the ‘Google’ icon, sucking my lower lip into my mouth while trying to rattle my thoughts; I knew nothing about dating sites. My fingers twitchingly lingered over the keyboard, itching to type away and get this anxiety building task out the way but I couldn’t. I had no idea what to do.
Eventually I settled for the obvious search of ‘dating’, hoping some of the search results weren’t too obscene. There were a few irrelevant results such as ’What girls should wear to impress on a first date’ and ‘Top 10 places to take your partner on a date’; However, I did bookmark that one… It might come in handy eventually.
After a surprisingly long time I had found a particular site that didn’t look too patronising. It was still a pink theme, a few love hearts shooting up to the top of the page but it didn’t appear too overwhelming. I wasn’t the type to cope well in situation where I felt like an outsider - and the fact I was applying for a dating site wasn’t helping. Sighing deeply I clicked on the ‘Sign Up’ logo, groaning a little at the questions asked;
“I am a ____, looking for a ____.” With drop down boxes for you to choose your sex.
It wasn’t that I was ashamed of my sexuality, it’s more the fact that I was a little hesitant to plaster it across the internet for complete strangers to read. Despite my opinion, I still entered my information in, choosing ‘man’ for each before quickly pressing ‘next’ with a slightly distressed expression.
My leg shook on the sofa as I typed in all necessary personal details, leaving out the ones without a critical ‘*’ beside the box.
“Name*: Shane Sumner
Birthday*: 21st October 1988
Interests*: Music & Art
About Me: -”
I left the last section blank; There was nothing left to add. Well, nothing positive anyway. I also had to type in my postcode so the site could find people close to me, which I found kinda useless. Everyone around here didn’t like me, so what was the point?
