I didn’t know how it happened. We were on tour for the Kerrang! Tour and just finished playing in Glasgow. We had the day off tomorrow so Laurence thought it would be a good idea to spend a night in a hotel. You know, to unwind, before jumping back in the van tomorrow morning. He split the rooms evenly, of course, well kind of. Me and Drew got one, Kier and Luke got the second, and Laurence, the lucky git, got a room to himself. His argument was “I booked the rooms; it was my idea so suck it up, Sumner.” I didn’t mind sharing a room with Drew really; I only wanted my own room so I wouldn’t have to deal with a post-concert Wooly.
Anyway, being the manly man I am, I decided to have a bubble bath. I was hot, sweaty, grimy and gross; it had to go. Once we were in the hotel Drew “BAGSIED!” the bed closest to the window, which is always the best bed in a hotel, for reasons I’m not quite sure of, and we sat around settling in. Drew turned on the TV and started watching this Romantic Comedy film while I trudged into the bathroom tiredly. Turning on the hot tap and tipping in some free hotel bubble bath, I wandered out the room and lay on the bed, face first. I groaned loudly.
“What’s up?” Drew said wildly.
I groaned again and turned onto my back looking across at Drew, who was grinning manically.
It was like that for a further 20 minutes, Drew rambling on excitedly about how “FREAKING AWESOME!” the concert was and me groaning exhaustedly in reply until my bath was done, I undressed and stepped in, surrounded by bubbles. I sighed in content, and sunk lower into the bath, wetting my sandy blonde hair in the process. I lay in the bath with my eyes closed for around 10 minutes, the only noise being the extractor fan churning away. I then proceeded to sit up and wash my body. It was during that time when I stared at the taps. Now I know that sounded weird but these weren’t just any old taps, these taps were ginormous. I mean, why would you make taps so big? It was around that time when my curiosity took over me and I thought; I wonder if my toe could fit in that faucet? So I tried it, I just fucking stuck my big toe up there, and it fit, and guess what? I can’t fucking get it back out. My toe is wedged in a faucet, in a hotel bathroom, and my only saviour is a hyper midget.
My first reaction was to panic. Obviously. I started to furiously wiggle my leg around in hopes of loosening it up a bit, that didn’t work. Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Shit. Now what?! Do I call Drew? No, he’d laugh. This is so fucking humiliating! I sighed. If I was going to get Drew to help, I need to cover myself up.
“Drew?!” I called.
“What?” I heard from the next room.
“I’ve forgot my towel, could you get me one?” I lied. I had a towel, I just couldn’t reach it.
“I thought I saw one in the bathroom when we got here.”
Godammit Drew, help me out.
“Errm, no, there’s nothing here.” I replied, glaring at the towel to my right that was smugly sitting there out of arms reach.
I heard a sigh from the next room - someone woke up on the wrong side of the van this morning – and then the door creaked open slightly.
“Here.” Drew said, as his arm reached into the bathroom, grasping a white towel.
“Erm, could you throw it to me, like to the left a bit.” I said motioning with my hands, even though he couldn’t see me.
“Are you incapable of moving too?” He wondered.
“Ermm, kinda.”
“What are you-” Mid-sentence Drew turned his head so that he was peering into the bathroom. I squeaked and collected bubbles around my crotch.
