Poems from the Heart.

Screaming

Screaming

Staring at the horn

Eyes upon the ground

I try to member the notes

My thoughts rolling all around

People see I'm stuttering

People see I want to scream

But they just sit there, staring

Hoping the bell will ring

I hoped as well as them

As I brought the metal to my lips

Trying to remember the notes

Distracted by my stomach doing flips

The teacher stared angrily

Knowing I wanted to give up

What I wouldn't give for a peek at the paper

I felt like I was going to upchuck

I was so afraid

Finally blowing a note

Missing the pitch completely

Feeling a lump inside my throat

But, I played on anyways

Getting to where I suddenly froze

I wanted to scream so bad then

I looked down again as suspision rose

Silently, I fingered the notes

The notes I didn't even know

Getting stuck at the same place

Screaming, I wante to do so

The teacher made a disappointed face

As the room was suddenly quiet

My scream building inside

He probably thought I never tried it

Tried to practice at home

When I did; I tried so hard

But, then I slowly looked down

Not knowing how to play the next card

"I can't remember."

My whisper was so weak

The room went still and quiet

Not a scream from me, or even a squeak

How I wanted to scream that day

When Mr.Perez just looked at me

Disappointment raging in his eyes

But, what exactly did he see?

Slowly, he called the next person

My internal screaming never heard

Instead a few tears icily burning my face

My heat beating as the wings of a bird

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This happend at my last chair test. Then, the following Monday (a few days ago), we had a test in Eco Band and I played the wrong one because I had lent a friend my glasses (without regrets, because I knew she loved them). This week, I made the back row again. Just yesterday actually. I made 17th chair. Out of 24 people. At lest I'm not 21 anymore...