Please Don't Leave [n.h] // AU

21

!TW: Panic attacks!

I haven't been through one myself, so any information written about it here is just from my imagination and how I've read about it in other books. I do NOT know that for sure. Amen.

All my life, I was meant to believe that my father was dead, buried under the ground. But then there he was, alive may I add, in front of me. I haven't said a word since I found out. My mum and I were sitting around the kitchen table, Jack was waiting in his car to give us time to talk. She's been silent for about ten minutes.

I can't believe this is happening. I thought this kinda thing only occurred in movies or books. But no, it has to fucking happen to me.

And I was so fucking mad. At my mum, Jack, my grandparents, they all lied to me.

I was so hurt.

"Well? Are you going to explain to me what the fuck is going on or are we going to sit here in silence for the rest of the night?" I said a bit harsher than I intended.

"I will, I'm just trying to figure out how to explain everything." My mum said and put her hand on my leg, I pushed it off.

"You fucking lied to me." I spat, looking straight into her eyes.

"I know, Harper, I know." My mum said with a look of hurt in her eyes. I breathed heavy through my nostrils and put a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Fucking explain it then." I muttered through my gritted teeth.

"Jack indeed is your father. He never died." My mum said the useless fact.

"No shit." I mumbled.

"Harper, I understand that you're mad, you have every right to be, but that doesn't make it okay for you to talk to me like that." She scolded me. I can't believe she's doing this right now. I bit my tongue and looked away, shaking my head. I clenched my fists beside me to subside my anger, trying to calm down.

"I just want to know why everyone lied to me, okay? You told me he was dead, and then he shows up, and he's still alive? Why would you even do that?" I looked down.

"Because in my eyes, he was dead." She said quietly. I looked at her with a confused look. She's never been one to hold grunges. This is weird.

"He promised me he'd always be there for our family, and he left before you were even born. He left me when I was highly pregnant, had no job, no money, no food." She stated and frowned, looking defeated.

"Why?" I asked.

"If only I knew. This is the first time I heard from him in eighteen years." She shook her head in disbelieve.

"You should talk to him." I told her.

"I don't know if I can after what he did. I never really coped with it."

"You at least have to try. He might have had a good reason." I shrugged.

"He left because he's a coward, a selfish coward." She confidently said.

"I'll make us both a cuppa and then you can tell me the whole story, yeah?" I told her and got up. I'm still mad at her for lying and this by no means I forgive her, but she looked devastated, and she is my mum. I can't yell at her when she's like this. After making the tea, I placed the cups on the table and sat back down.

"I was sixteen when I met him. He was the popular player, and I was the innocent nerd. Jack was failing chemistry, and I had to tutor him. We got closer and closer every week and eventually, we fell in love. I fell in love." She explained. It sounded like the perfect love story.