Dysphoria

Chapter Five

The next morning I woke up feeling like shit but tied my hair into a tight pony tail, slapped on some sunscreen, a pair of black leggings and a sports bra trying to convince myself to go exercise.

I had been having negative thoughts all night and knew I knew if I forced myself to go for a good long walk and listen to some music it would make me feel better even temporarily.

I make it downstairs to find my mother standing staring out the back window at nothing. Usually she's not out of bed before 12 so this was new.

"I'm going for a walk. Have a good day Laura." I say sarcastically, getting nothing in return.

Sticking my headphones in my ears I blast some music and start walking.

At one point I see Rue riding her bike towards me and I wave at her.

"Hey new girl."

"Hey Rue." You smile at her. I'm really fucking sick of people calling me that.

"Are you going to store to see Fez?" She smiles at you knowingly.

"No actually I'm just going for a walk. My head felt all fucked up." I looked down at my feet, maybe it was an over share but I knew Rue would get it.

She nods quietly. "He likes you, you know."

I shrug, "I like him too. But I don't expect anything to happen."

"Why?"

"He's so chill. And he's really sweet. But I think he just wants to be friends." I knew I liked Fez, a lot actually. I was attracted to him physically and as a person. I was so comfortable around him. But he seemed like the kind of guy who didn't show much interest in girls.

"Look, give him time. It's early days and I know he's awkward." She makes a whacky expression. "But he's definitely into you. I've known him forever and he's happier around you than I've ever seen him with another girl." She says sitting back down onto her bike.

"Thanks Rue, I appreciate it. I'll probably see you in class on Monday. Fucking vomit." I say trying to mask my anxiety.

"Don't worry about it. You're legit cooler than 99% of everyone in that shit hole." She made a peace sign and pedaled off.

I put back in my headphones, kept walking and was lost in the music, walking fast in no particular direction, just wherever the pavement takes me.

It's no surprise when I jump out of my skin because of a massive horn honk right beside me making me rip out the ear buds.

"What the actual fuck is your problem!" I shout into the window of none other than Nate Jacobs truck. Of course.

"Chill out! I was calling you for five minutes so I had to use the horn!" He shouts back. That wasn't the truth, in fact he had been slowly following me in the truck from the time I had left the house.

"I had headphones in you moron!" I shout.

"We'll I didn't know that did I, I could only see the back of you." He says innocently.

"Is there something you need help with?" I put my hands on my hips giving him the least interested look possible.

"Well I saw you and I remembered the other night you said you owed me a burger so I thought we could get lunch or something." His smile is confident, as if he was doing me a favor.

"No. Not interested." I put the headphones in and keep walking, but over the music I hear him rev his engine.

As I walked, continuing to ignore him I didn't expect was for him to mount the curb in front of me effectively blocking my path.

I was feeling a little less confident as I watched him get out of the truck and violently slam the door behind him. I take out the headphones knowing that confrontation was inevitable.

"What do you mean not interested?" He says marching over, towering over me. He smells like minty shower gel.

I'm not interested in going for lunch with you." I swerve past him and throw a $10 bill into the open window of his truck. "There you, that's what I owe you."

I don't get far before he yanks yanks my arm back and slams me up against the car door.

"What the fuck are you doing?" His back is bent down so his face is close to mine, so close can I feel his breath in my face. "Get in the truck."

"No Nate. Get your hands off me." I refuse to look at him.

"Oh. So you just lead me on like a tease and then blow me off?" He grins in a slightly manic way? "Well that's not going to fucking work Nia."

"What's not going to work Nate is you running your mouth about me to your pathetic friends! Like a little boy who just found his dick for the first time." My eyes were blazing at him, showing him no fear.

"What the fuck are you even talking about?"

"One of those asshole twins you're friends with was really interested in me the other day. All because of the things you told him about me." I stab my finger into his massive chest.

"And apparently you had a lot to say. Which is interesting considering I kissed you one fucking time! But whatever shit you made up had him trying to fuck me like a dog in the supermarket snack isle in broad day light."

An 'oh shit' look crossed his face making him loosen his grip on my wrists long enough to shove him away.

"Look, stop. Stop Nia. Fucking stop and listen to me!" He gets up close again but this time take a deep breath.

"Look. I shouldn't have brought you up. The guys saw us leave together and they wanted to know about you."

"Yeah great. I pieced that shit together myself thanks. Move out of my way." My heart was pounding in embarrassment and anger.

"No. You're right, I shouldn't have made shit up about you. I...I fuck."

"You what? What did you do Nate." I demand getting increasingly pissed off.

"They all saw you at the party! All of the guys have been seeing you around town and they were talking about you. So I fucking told them I fucked you thinking  it would get them to leave you alone."  He clenched his jaw in annoyance smacking his hand on the truck hood.

"You told them I fucked you??" It felt like all the blood in my veins turned to ice.

My eyebrows almost flew off my fucking forehead. The peaceful feeling I had tried to earn from my walk was now completely gone.

"I'm starting in that school in two days and I'm already going to be slut shamed for your pathetic lying ass?!"

In a moment of blind anger I lashed out and slapped him across the face.

Big mistake.

His expression turns dark as his massive hand shoots out covering my  mouth and jaw,  squeezing my face painfully. The other hand opens the passenger side door. With a firm grip on my face he grabs me up under my ass and flings me into the truck. Slamming the door closed before I can react.

I sit up and watch anxiously as he barges over to his side of the truck and climbs in. Without making any eye contact with he starts the truck, pressing the button to lock the doors.

There's a charged silence between us.

"If you're smart, which I think you are, you will keep your fucking mouth shut until I tell you to open it." His voice is deathly serious and I choose to take his advice.