Dysphoria

Chapter Fifty Five

"Oh shit!"

I jolted awake to a phone ringing, some hair and a wet patch of dribble plastered on my face from where my cheek pressed into the arm of the couch. I had clearly fallen asleep, and from the way Ash had just lifted himself up off my side he had clearly fallen asleep against me.

He scrambled to answer his phone.

"Shit yeah, alright I'll get over there now. Okay! I said I'll be over!" Ash said loudly into the phone. "God fuckin damn it."

"What's wrong?" I asked when he hung up, sitting upright and wiping my face to clear away the haze of sleep.

"I was supposed to be over at the house like a half hour ago so Fez can get ready for y'all stupid dinner." Ash exclaimed. "Which is fine, go leave me with all the work, as usual."

I looked at him sympathetically which only pissed him off more. Then I picked up the tv remote like it was a microphone singing in a fake country music voice, "He's a single mom who works two jobs who loves his kids and never stops, with gentle hands and the heart of a fighterrrr, he's a surviiiiiivor."

"Man shut the fuck up." Ash swore trying not to laugh but failed getting up off the couch and grabbing his jacket to go.

"Well shit if he's getting ready now that means I'm way late, don't tell him! I'll make it over in time I promise." I realised, all joking aside. I was still in my clothes from this morning. "Alright I'll see you over there in an hour. Love you."

He nodded on his way out the door saying, "I know, I know." I could hear the annoyance in his voice, like he had heard me say it so many times he was tired of it.

I had a quick body shower, realizing I wouldn't have time to do hair and makeup so my hair would have to do as it is. I got my black dress and heels on, did a quick makeup look and sprayed on some perfume and gave myself a quick once over before dashing out the door to go over to the Jacobs. My outfit was chic and minimal, perfect for a place like a Aldo's.

Even though Nate was still tense about me going for dinner with Fez. I didn't want him to feel betrayed, for me this was a formality with the biological father of my child. Mending bridges between us if that were possible.

I crossed the street, making my way up the driveway. One of Marsha's white roses was blooming, it's green vines climbing around the wooden trellis arch. I opened the front door and let myself in. Marsha was in the living room watching t.v.

"Wow, great dress." She smiled appreciatively taking a sip of her white wine looking me over. "I would kill to have your waist."

"Thank you, but at this rate I won't have it for much longer!" I rubbed my hand down my satin clad body adjusting the gold love bangle on my wrist. I was planning on asking Fez to unscrew it for me tonight. It didn't feel right wearing it anymore given the emotional significance. "Where's Nate?"

"Out back breaking concrete of all things." She said with emphasis like it was absurd.

I looked at her in confusion, what was he doing that for?

"I told him I wanted to put in a flower bed, where his father had parked his stupid four wheeler. He suggested a kids swing for when the baby's a bit older and I thought that would be a nice idea so he took it upon himself to start breaking up the concrete even though I offered to hire a guy with some power tools." Marsha shrugged her shoulders, "I don't think he's in the best mood right now."

I nodded in understanding. He wasn't in a good mood because of me, because I was going to this dinner and I felt a pit of guilt form in my stomach.

I took a breath to steady myself and went through the house to the back door which led to the Jacob's well manicured back garden. I opened the door and and was met with the sound of loud crunching impacts around the side of the house.