Dysphoria

Chapter Twenty Eight

School was very fucking weird since New Years.

It seemed like everything was turned on it's ass. All the people who hated Nate before felt sorry for him now.

People were looking at me differently because they knew Fez was my boyfriend and he had tried to publicly beat someone to death while I stood by and watched.

I decided I wasn't going to apologize to anyone for what Fez did. When people asked I told them I didn't know he was planning on doing anything and I wasn't sorry for Nate.

Did I want Nate to die...... sometimes.
Was I glad Fez stood up for me and for himself..... yes.
Did I want Fez to kill Nate...... no.

Cassie was full blown depressed. She was in her own world. I couldn't figure out why Nate's hospitalization had hit her so deeply.

Maddy yanked me in to the girls bathroom. Cassie was in there drying her arm pits with tissue paper and swiftly left when we burst in the door before I could talk to her.

"What the fuck did he do that to Nate for!" She said to me.

"Maddy. Do me a favor and don't pretend that Nate is some kind of fucking saint okay." I folded my arms across my chest and looked at her seriously. "I didn't know what he was going to do, I swear. I don't know if he planned it or not. Nate was saying some pretty foul shit and as far as I'm concerned someone needed to knock him down a peg."

"Nia he's in intensive fucking care!" She flapped her hand around.

"Yes. And when he comes out he might remember he's not as untouchable as he thinks he is." I reapplied some lip oil in the mirror. "Maddy I love you. He's a big boy, he'll be alright. Leave the crying for Cassie okay?"

She rolled her eyes at me and stole the lip oil out of my hand to put some on herself.

There was a new guy at school, his name was Elliot. He was cool but he seemed to be causing some tension between Rue and Jules. I knew with certainty she was using all the time now. I didn't know if Elliot was too but it was safe to assume.

Maybe he might make Jules appreciate Rue more and not take her for granted. Or maybe Rue might realize the world didn't revolve around Jules.

Kat seemed stressed. But I was happy for her and Elliot, he seemed like a really sweet guy. Hopefully he would help to soften her up a little bit and give her the love she deserved.

"You guys were so cute at the party. He seems really lovely Kat." I smiled at her as we grabbed our bags out of our lockers at the end of the day.

"Yeah, he is." She smiled back but it seemed strained. "How are you and Fez doing after all of this?"
She was one of the few people who wasn't acting like Nate was a martyr and I was glad of it.

"We're good. I think he just snapped, Nate has put us through so much. He's fucked around with so many peoples lives just because he can get away with it." I said grabbing my stuff and locking my locker.

"It was kinda hot the way he just beat the shit out of him though." Kat smirked at me deviously biting her lip.

We shared a conspiratorial look. "I know. We're the fucking worst. But it was like something from a fan fic."

"You read fan fic's??" She stared at me open mouthed.

"Fuck yeah. I love some smutty fantasy!" I giggled with no shame. "You have to swear on your life...last year I was HOOKED on Draco Malfoy. I mean hooked."

"No. NO!! No fucking way!" She yelled. "DRACO??"

I smacked her arm and told her to keep quiet. I checked to make sure no one could hear me, before whispering into her ear, "That mean blonde fucker could make my cheeks clap Monday thru Sunday."