Dysphoria

Chapter Twenty Three

I had been avoiding going home as often because of Nate's lingering presence but I knew when I went home after school today I had to get the house back under control.

I put my key in the front door and was immediately greeted with the sour smell of vomit coming from somewhere. My mom had completely let the place go. Even worse than I expected, the trash hadn't been taken out, there were glass bottles literally all over the fucking place.

I threw down my bag, put music on my headphones and grabbed some rubber gloves and went around the house picking up whatever bottles or broken glass I could find. The kitchen wasn't too bad apart from some spill stains and a sink was full of dirty dishes and glasses. But smell got worse as I walked into the living room. I held my breath and ran to open the windows before I vomited too.

I can handle blood no problem, vomit though, that makes my knees wobble.

I found the vomit had dried from a puddle on the arm of the couch and dripped down all over the side on to the floor. I was in the middle of spraying every single cleaning product I had on it when Fez called.

"Hey babe what's up?" I ask him dousing the stinky mess with baking soda.

"Not much, not much jus checkin in. What's up witchu?" He was smoking I could hear it on the end of the phone.

"Oh you know, just scrubbing my mothers old caked on vomit off the couch. The usual." I try to make it sound funny.

I heard him swear under his breath.

"Want me to come over? I'll help." He said immediately.

"Fuck no. You stay there, besides don't you have Mouse coming over later?" I ask, even saying that scumbags name out loud made me want to puke but I was not about to be cleaning up more of this shit.

"Shit I fuckin forgot. How'd you know?" Fez asked.

"Ash told me he was coming to make sure I didn't drop over until it was safe." I said quietly. I had been really grateful to the little butthead for looking out for me. He acted like he hated when I hugged him but it never stopped me.

"I'm glad lil homie did that, we gotta look out for family." He sighed. "Look I gotta go, I'll text you tonight aiight?"

"Okay babe. Be careful." I said trying to hide the dread in my voice. It made me sick thinking of Mouse hurting Fez or Ash.

"Love you." He said before hanging up.

It took a while to get the smell out of the couch but over all it was much better.

I made a toasted cheese sandwich for dinner because there was no fresh food in the fridge. After washing some of the stuff in the sink I went upstairs to check on my Mom.

Her room was messy and dark, she had barely unpacked any clothes since we moved here. Lots of things were still in boxes, the curtains and blinds were permanently drawn shut.

She was asleep in bed. But by the smell she must have not washed herself after she threw up on the couch.

"Jesus Christ." I mutter to myself before raising my voice to a louder friendly level. "Come on Mom it's time for a shower."

I go over and try to lift her torso off the bed. "Come on Mom, you got sick, let me help you. You'll feel better after a shower."

She groaned and gagged when I lifted her up like the motion made her want to vomit again. "No. No! Nia let me sleep."

"No Mom. I just cleaned up the whole fucking house, you have to at least wash yourself." I say tugging her to sit up in bed.

She seemed so weak and lifeless I didn't expect it when she let her hand fly back and slap me across the face, her large wedding ring catching in the soft skin off my cheek.