Dysphoria

Chapter Fifty One

I spent the night at Nate's, but when he chose to go to be a very good boy and go to school I stuck by my word and stayed home. Honestly it was a bit of a relief, Nate had tired me out last night, but I woke up with the worst morning sickness and I didn't want to spend the day vomiting in Marsha's presence. No offense to her but some things are better done in privacy.

I knew I needed some time to myself.

I went back to my own house and just enjoyed having some space. After a long shower, I went downstairs barefoot wearing baggy sweats rolled down at the hips and a tight cropped tank top. I played my music, opened the windows to air out the rooms and lit some candles. I ordered some stuff from Amazon. Then there were some chores that needed to be done, phone calls to the bank and other things I had been putting off doing for a while and once they were finished I took a well earned nap on the couch.

Something about having the house to yourself with the A.C. blasting and being snuggled under a blanket hits different. It made me nap longer than I mean to honestly, I was startled by sound of my phone and the fact it was almost evening time.

Ash had text me to say he was coming over after school, so I knew I had to whip something together for dinner, that kid was always hungry.

I had some steak in frying in a pan and potatoes in the oven when I got another text message.

Fezzy: come outside

I quickly pulled the frying pan to the side and put the lid on top to keep the meat warm before opening the front door. Ash and Fez had just pulled up by the curb.

"What's for dinner?" Ash got out of the car with a gear bag slung over his shoulder and gave me a barely interested glance as he walked past me up the driveway.

"Steak and baked potatoes, there's onions and mushrooms in the pan." I said used to his stand offish behavior.

"Why do you always drop him off hungry?" I said to Fez pretending to be annoyed at him.

"Hey, I told him I was making hamburgers. He said he wanted to wait to eat here." Fez said innocently with a shrug.

"You must think I'm dumb. Why would I eat hamburger when I can have steak right here?" Ash called behind his shoulder going into the house. The little shit had a point.

Fez stood with his back leaning against the car casually lighting up a smoke. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt, baggy jeans and a fresh pair of basketball shoes. His hair was shaved short but his beard had its usual reddish tint.

"Heard you was fightin' again." He said matter of fact like he wasn't the least surprised. He had probably heard from Rue or seen the videos people had streamed of the fight. He looked me over for any signs of major injury, apart from the odd bruise here or there I was fine.

I shuffled from one foot to the other and sighed, "Yeah. Well you know me. Some girls just like to fight, and I guess I'm one of them."

"Yeah and you need to sit your crazy ass down," he nodded, "you too good at being trouble."

My eyes met his and we both smiled at the same time. A second or two passed with us smiling because of each other and I remembered back to when he would hold me or kiss the side of my neck from behind and when I inevitably grinned he would ask "who's got you smiling like that?" because he knew it was only him.

There was awkward tension between us now and I presumed with Ash dropped off that would be the end of our conversation.

"Oh wait shit hold on! I need to give you something wait there a second!" I flapped my hands realizing I had completely forgotten to give him the stuff from the doctor. I wanted to kick myself for being so forgetful.