Dysphoria

Chapter Thirty Eight

"Go away. I'm avoiding reality." I groan from my bed as someone bangs in my bedroom door. I knew it was Ash from the aggressive thumping.

I frantically try to burrow deeper under the covers as Ash opens the door and stomps in, grabbing the corner of my blanket cocoon and swiftly ripping it off me. I curled into the fetal position and avoided looking at him.

"No you're fuckin not." He glared at me as I stuffed my face in the pillow. I had spent all Sunday hiding in here avoiding my entire life.

"Just cuz you got knocked up isn't an excuse. You need to get outta this bed, and those sad...sad pajamas and act like a functioning human being." Ash said, ripping open the curtains.

I groaned out loud but as much as he was being ruthless, I knew he was right. As much as I wanted to avoid everything and everyone in my life, I knew the longer I stayed in this room the more depressed I would get about my future or lack there of. I had so much to figure out. Fuck my life.

I opened my phone and answered a few texts messages.

Maddy sent me pics of her outfits she wanted help deciding between.

Then there was a bunch from Nate.

1:51 p.m.
Short King:
Look I'm sorry about that shit at school.
I know how pissed you must be but I really just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. Cassie shouldn't have gotten involved.

2:33 p.m.
Short King:
I just want to see you.
To hold you.
Come on. Text me.

5:30 p.m.
Short King:
I'm getting really worried Nia.
This isn't like you, I know you're home. Just say something.

6:19 p.m.
Short King:
Why don't you let me take you out tonight.
Some where far enough from East Highland that no one will see us.
There's so much I want to do for you that texts like this can't cover.

After that point I just deleted the messages. Nate Jacob's thinking with his dick was the least of my problems.
I got into the shower and quickly scrubbed my hair and body clean. I stood there naked, looking down at my body trying to picture my stomach swollen in a few months. It's crazy being pregnant, knowing you are but seeing no difference in your body but everything in your life is different now.

I tried to put it out of my mind. Got dressed, quickly dried my long dark hair and put on some makeup. I was about to leave the house when I remembered to take a prenatal vitamin. I was going to have to set a reminder on my phone for that thing.

"I'll see you later Ash. There's plenty of stuff in the fridge for lunch. Text me what you want for dinner later okay?"

He just nods continuing to tap away on his laptop at the kitchen counter as I locked the door behind me.

My morning classes went pretty well. I obviously had no intention of telling anyone at school I was pregnant, I was waiting to tell Fez first. Thankfully from what I read, it would be weeks before I started showing.

I was sitting in World History when Mr. Masako announced we would have assigned partners for our term project. Each pair would be assigned a topic to research, give a joint report and debate. He started calling out our pair names eventually gettin got mine.

"Nia you're with Jamie."

I looked around behind me to see where Jamie was normally sitting but her chair was empty.

Fuck. I hated raising my hand in Masako's class, even though I enjoyed history, he was always in a foul mood and hated being interrupted for any reason.

I lifted my hand and waited as he called out other pairs names.

"What is it." He said eventually.