Lockdown

No

SOHIT POV

Things had been unsettling ever since we had that talk. I was angry, really angry when I found out that positive pregnancy test in her cupboard. I felt like she lied to me and I felt manipulated by her. In all, all she wanted from me was that kid and nothing else but then I confronted her and she began crying. For maybe the first time, I heard her talk about something using her brain and as she cried softly in front of me telling me that she would terminate her pregnancy, a feeling of uncertainty engulfed me.

Maybe it was a misunderstanding or maybe it wasn't but she wasn't lying this time. I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to keep my baby but she was also the one who proposed to terminate it.

But things didn't remain the same between us after that day.
We drifted apart.

I personally didn't feel like touching her anymore and just focused on my work and she too did everything to avoid me. Nowadays, she had a constant gloom over her mind and dark circles under her eyes because even if we were sleeping on the same bed, we were far apart from each other in our minds.
In fact, the only few times that I saw her smile in the past 3 days was when she would talk to her brother about his online wedding or something...

I also caught her staring her stomach in the mirror many times but every time I entered the room, it was like she was a mosquito and to save her life, she needed to hurry away from me. Never once did I get to feel her stomach.

But why was I even thinking about all that? It was me who wanted to get rid of the kid in the first place.
I had a plan for my life and a direction that I wanted to live it in. First, I wanted to srry her, then turn Juggle into a big MNC and after that I would think about having kids because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to give my work enough time.

So, now as I drove her to the hospital to get something done that we both haven't told our parents about, I was not feeling guilty at all. I wasn't feeling guilty about the fact that she was tearing up and sniffing her tears up uncontrollably or even of the fact that I knew that I was in short forcing her into it. No... I WAS FUCKING MISERABLE FROM INSIDE AND I WAS HAVING SECOND DOUBTS EVER SINCE I FOUND OUT THAT SHE IS PREGNANT WITH MY CHILD!

And then, just to make me feel even more guilty, the doctor decided to get an ultrasound done once before we decided on whether to terminate and if we did, she wanted to leave us with a souvenir. Souvenir my ass. All I felt when I saw the image of a small ball on the screen was guilt. It was my baby ok? 3 weeks and 4 days old in its mother's womb... My kid. My first child..

" So. Mister Kulkarni and Ms. Tripathi... You want to terminate the pregnancy. Right?"
" Yes..." At that one moment, as I clutched onto the ultrasound printout that I got, there was only one thing going on in my mind... FUCK MY FUTURE PLANS! IT'S MY FIRST KID!
" No!" So, the no came rather loudly... " We... I... I don't want to terminate it," I swear those big eyes that she was looking at me with were making me feel even more guilty for waiting till the last moment but I couldn't do it. I couldn't let someone die from my hands only because I am dumb and want things my way. If I tried, I'm sure I could get ready for the kid now. At least I had more than 8 months now...

" So. You want to terminate it or not?"
" No. We don't... It's last minute but..."
" That is fine. I completely understand," I couldn't see that doctors lips but if she weren't wearing a mask, I was pretty sure that I would find her smiling...

" Why?" She asked me once we reached the car after buying all the medicines that she was advised to use and writing down all her dietary restrictions and all I could at that moment was to sigh and hang my head low
" I'm not heartless enough to kill my own kid," I gripped my fist and heard her sobbing softly next to me in the parking.
" You won't leave me na? Because I had a kid without marrying,"
" No. Never... It's my kid too. I won't leave you, ever. And never for that stupid reason," I let her cry in the car for sometime after that as I drove the car. I let her cry in peace because I didn't know what other thing I could do but to let her cry in peace.

The dinner went silent. I don't think neither of us had the strength or the courage to talk about the baby after everything that happened but then, at night, she patted my back and made me look at her only to hug me tightly.

" Hmm?"
" I just want something to cuddle with," she pouted and shoved her face onto my chest my honestly, that was the cutest thing that I had seen her do in 3 whole days and that small matter of days itself made me smile softly and put my hands around her too.
" I'm sorry. I got scared thinking about a child. It still is too much responsibility... But I'll get myself ready for it. Our baby,"
" I love you. Sohit. I love you so much for everything at this moment," and she kissed me. It was kind of sick. Really sick.