Trying Your Luck // Joel Hokka

XV

TW: sexual content

Being back in Finland felt so right, it felt that nothing mattered here. It was like I stepped into a parallel reality. I have never been more relieved and happy than I am now.

Alice had come to pick me up. At first, Joel insisted on picking me up, but I knew that the band was busy with band stuff and I had to convince him that the band needed him more than me.

Alice saw that something had changed in me and she was nagging me the whole drive to my flat. When we arrived at my flat, I put away my things and ordered some lunch for Alice and me.

"I have some news, but I'm not sure if I have processed everything myself," I started as I poured myself a glass of water. I turned around to face Alice, who was sitting on my sofa, typing something on her phone.

"I'm all ears."

"Sebastien is in jail!" I spilled out and Alice, after a few seconds processing what I said, jumped up from the sofa and ran to me.

"Did I hear that right?" Alice put her arms around me and squeezed me so my lungs started to hurt.

"Saw it myself," I silently admitted after pulling out of the redhead's squeeze.

"Wait, I thought you were in England."

"I was, but yesterday was his trial and I lied a bit to everyone because I didn't want anyone to know that. Because I knew that you would talk me out of seeing him and Joel would have wanted to come with me and it probably would have ended up in disaster," I tried to explain myself.

"I'm a bit hurt," Alice pouted and put her hand over her heart gesturing that her heart ached, "But at least you came home bearing good news! The best news!"

"I wish this would also have taken away all my memories, but I guess I have to find Men in Black to get neuralyzer," I smiled at my friend.

"I hope he looked miserable."

"He did, he started to cry and I actually was happy seeing him suffer. I walked out of the courthouse feeling like Nicole Kidman after divorcing Tom Cruise," I always admitted to Alice my deepest darkest thoughts because I knew that she wouldn't judge, "but enough about him. He is old news and I'm celebrating my new beginning!"

"Does your new beginning have something to do with a certain someone?" Alice asked sheepishly.

"Will see, I'm actually scared that Joel and I are rushing things," I answered honestly, "I used to know him, but we both have changed and I don't think Joel understands that. He thinks I'm the same girl he fell in love with and I think he is the same boy I fell in love with, but the more I think about this, the more I understand that he is a stranger and all I have is this image I hold of him."

"Then get to know him. Nora, you cannot see it yourself, but every time you are together you have that 'life is not too serious' vibe about you, that attitude that you used to have before Sebastien, that attitude I love you for."

"But this is not about attitude, but about two people's feelings," I tried to reason with Alice, who was indeed a hopeless romantic.

"You don't have to get married per se, just don't think about it too much. If anything, you know that Joel would never be like that dickhead," Alice answered back and I knew that deep down she was right. Joel was the safest choice if I wanted a relationship because I knew he would never become violent, a bit manipulative maybe.

I was saved by the bell as the doorbell rang and I went to collect our food. Alice saw that I wasn't in the mood to really discuss anything about mine and Joels's relationship, so she dropped the topic. We cheered our sushi and continued to chat about what we have been up to while I was away.