Trying Your Luck // Joel Hokka

Extra: Emma Gala night

Lately, I have become less and less energetic about things. It felt as if my film had sucked out every ounce of my being, even if I loved what I did. But a week off in Helsinki was much needed and I was excited to just enjoy some peaceful time with Joel. He was like another person all over again, he was so clingy and loving. I wasn't complaining because I haven't felt him close to me, if you don't count our time in London, in so long.

Even if we were enjoying some downtime, Joel was buzzing about the Emma Gala. I knew that these nominations meant more than that to Joel. For him, it was a way to prove to everyone who doubted him that he is more than a weekend musician. And I was buzzing because it would be our first time out in public, this basically meant the announcement of our relationship and I was scared. I knew how jealous fans can act, but Joel was the one who suggested that we make an appearance together because he 'wants the whole world to see his badass girlfriend'.

"Can I at least have a hint of what you will be wearing?" Joel pleaded as we walked around the grocery store.

"Nope," his ways will not work on me.

"Are you at least going to match the vibe with the band?"

"I am, I already told you this," I didn't pay too much attention, grabbing noodles from the shelf and walking away.

"Are you going to show off that cleavage of yours?" I heard Joel catch up to me and whisper in my ear. I didn't know whenever to laugh or hit him, but I felt a blush creeping up in my cheeks. His low whisper was sending shivers down my spine and I felt hairs on my back lift up. 

"You can't be serious," I turned around to face the man, "Can you stop thinking with your dick?"

"Not when you are around," Joel smiled cheekily and leaned down to leave a quick peck on my lips, "So, are you?"

"You'll have to wait and see," I turned around and walked away.

"You are killing me."

On the day of the event, Joel left early and that left me with plenty of time to get ready. Alice came over to help me because I wanted to look perfect.

"Why do I feel more nervous than when I was at the Oscars?" I felt butterflies in my stomach and they were making me sick.

"Because probably your face will be on every Finnish tabloid possible," Alice said while working on my curls. I didn't want to go overboard with my looks, but Alice was right and my face will be all over the tabloids and it terrified me.

"Ugh, the tabloids," I rolled my eyes, "I cannot wait to be called rockstars plaything."

Even if I was living in a bubble where I was known, I was still just Eleanor in most parts of the world. Joel on the other hand was Finland's most famous bachelor and there were lines of people who would sell their firstborn in exchange for one night with the man. And I knew that there were some much more beautiful women and it made me so anxious that one day Joel would leave me for someone prettier.

"You have that look on your face," Alice looked at me in the mirror, "You are overthinking something."

"It's nothing," I shook my head, "Just some dumb thoughts."

"I'm here to listen," Alice said as she sat on the floor in front of me.

"I just feel like I'm not pretty enough. I see other women that line up to meet Joel and I don't feel enough."

"That's what I thought. You always have had these doubts and I wish you could see yourself through someone else's eyes. You are absolutely gorgeous!" Alice cheered me up.

"I know I'm getting worked up over nothing, but what if.."

"There are no what-ifs. We'll doll you up and you'll be the most beautiful woman in that room and after you'll get into that dress Joel will have eyes only for you, he won't even be able to concentrate on the awards," Alice pointed at the black silk dress that left little to the imagination. The dress had a low cut that ended just in the middle of my torso and it had a long cut on the right side. I knew that I was playing with the fire, but I wanted to look good for Joel.