If I Awake

Chapter 19

It's been a few weeks and my mom is finally getting to come home from the hospital. We're all really excited to bring her hom, she hasn't been there in what feels like forever, I know dad is happy because he can sleep in a bed with her again. He hasn't been home much because he's been staying at the hospital day and night. Harry and I have too but mom gets me to go and sleep at home most nights becuase she doesn't want me sleeping in chairs in "my condition".

"I'm so happy to go home but I'm terrified to see the mess you guys have probably made." My mom says on the way home.

"There's no mess mom, we've cleaned up." I say and she thanks me.

We reach home and dad pushes her in her wheel chair into the house, she smiles when she see's that the house is clean. She looks so happy and I'm so glad she's feeling this happy. My mother, even on the darkest of days, can smile at even the  smallest thing that makes her happy.

"So what would you like to eat?" My dad asks her.

"I would love a cheese burger and chillie fries and a milkshake."

"Are you that hungry?" Harry asks and my mother laughs.

"Hey you try eating hospital food for a month and tell me how hungry you are."

"Okay you win." Harry and my mother laugh.

"Harry and I will go and get the food, dad can help you get comfortable and everything."

"Sounds good." My dad says and we make a list of what everyone wants then Harry and I head out to get the food. 

"Have you had to stay in the hopital like that before?" Harry asks.

"I have, but ive stayed longer than my mother had to."

"What happened?" He says, Harry and I tened to not talk about my sickness to much. Not for any kind of reason though, we just don't. So when we do, it's almost as if Harry is nervous to ask me questions about it.

"Well, I mean surgeries have kept me in the hospital and there were times when I would go into temporary coma's. It was for all kinds of reasons."

"Were you scared?"

"When I was younger I was, as I got older though I kind of got used to it. Being stuck with needles and having so many surgies, I really just got used to it." He doesn't say anything, I don't think he likes talking about it. I don't think he likes to hear about the things that hurt me, which is probably why we don't talk about me being sick very much.

We pick up the food and take it home, while eating we talk about when mom has to go back for check ups and everything like that. Whenever mom laughs or smiles, dad looks at her as if he's fallen in love with her all over again. It's like something you'd see in a movie, the knid of love they have for each other.

They met back in high school, my mom was the art student and my dad was into music, they were friends when high school started but then junior year my dad asked her to prom. My mom said that was the night she knew she was in love with him, my dad says he was in love with her long before that. From then, their history was made.

I wonder if Harry loves me in that kind of way, if when he looks at me it's like the first time. I love Harry, I love him more than anything. I if hadn't of met him, i'd still feel as if dying could happne at any minute and I wouldn't care. Now I don't want to die because I don't want to be without him, I don't want to waste one second of how ever much time I have left without Harry.

"You alright?" Harry whispers to me.

"Yes, I was just thinking." He smiles and goes back to eating as do I. After we ate and watched some TV, we all went to bed. Well Harry and I didn't we just sat in my room.

'What were yu thinking of at dinner? You don't have to say if you don't want, I was just wondering."

"No, it's fine. I was just thinking about how mom and dad met and I was thinking about you."

"Good things I hope." he laughs.

"Of course it was, I was just thinking of how happy I am that I met and how much you helped me realize that I don't want to die. I wanna my time with you, how ever much time that may be." He pulls me closer to him and kisses me.

"Your going to live a long happy life and I will gladly be there to annoy you. I know it gets hard but, I don't want you giving up no matter what. I'm not giving up on you love, I love you Melanie. I've loved you since the day we met at the mall. I know it's only been six months but, you have done something to me. I love you so much.

"I love you too Harry." He leans in and kisses me again, this time more powerful. I climb onto his lap and wrap my legs around his torso and tangle my fingers in his hair.

"Harry?"

"Yes?" Our voices are low and we're breathing heavly.

"When can we.."

"Have sex?"

"Yes.." I know my cheeks are red, I don't know why I get embarressed talking about having sex with him. I mean he's seen me naked.

"Babe you know I want to, I really want to. I don't want to hurt you while your on chemo though."

"Harry, I don't care."

"But I do."

"Listen, I'm always going to be fragil and dealing with some kind of pain from my sickness, it's not going to get any easier. I feel stupid because I feel like I'm begging but I want to expirence every possible thing with you."

"Your right, love."

"I am? ....I mean, I know I'm right." He giggles.

"Even though your right , I want it special for you. I want it to happne when we both least expect it to happen."

"Like and in the moment movie cliche kind of thing?"

"Ha-ah yes, exactly like that. I love you Melanie and I want to help you with expirecing every possible thing." he says while slowly leaning in and kissing my he lays me down and lays over me. He's holding my hip with one hand and leaning on his other arm. I run my fingers through his hair tugging at it and moans escape his mouth.

"Your not making this 'waiting' thing any easiers." I say.

"Well, just because we aren't having sex yet doesn't mean we can't do other things."

"Like what?" I say and he smirks at me, he begins kissing my lips then down to my neck and my chest. He stops at my hips and pulls down my pants leaving me in my panties.

"Something I have yet to let you feel." I'm left in coffusion, until he begins kissing my hips again and going lower and lower and lower.

I tremble from his touch as he sits up and begins to take my panties off.

Okay now I'm nervous again but damn I hope he doesn't stop.

Hello! Sorry for the wait I've been busy I've barley been able to update any of my other fanfictions but I really wanted to update! So sorry if this chapter is lame but I wanted to write it, I'm going to be adding in more clues as to why Harry isn't really wanting Melanie to meet his parents and I'm going to be going more into his life and doing things in his point of view! So there are a lot of things to look forward to! I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'd love to interact with you guys! Feel free to comment or send me a dm on here or instagram or twitter! Love you guys!!XXXX