Times like this, Seokjin wishes he knew how to keep his big mouth shut.
The day with Jeongguk after his poor attempt to get to know the older was beyond awkward.
They gave each other muffled replies, he made jokes here and there that the older man ignored, and when it came time to go to bed, they didn't say anything at all.
Seokjin woke up. His eyes were practically shut, and his hair was ruffled about as he stumbled out of the guest bedroom, making disgruntled noises as his nose followed the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen.
"Mornin," Jeongguk greets, his back turned on the younger as he tends to the food on the stove.
Seokjin lets out a sigh as he sits down at the dining table. Jeongguk peers over at the younger, watching him nod off to sleep, and he couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
Cute.
The older took a seat at the table, and he knocks on the wooden table, making the younger's eyes shoot open.
"Hi," Seokjin sleepily mutters.
Jeongguk lets up a tight-lipped smile. "Hi," he mutters back.
The younger wipes at his tired eyes, shrugging off the sleepiness and sitting up straight. He quickly became timid, playing with the sleeves of his shirt, avoiding eye contact with the older.
He doesn't want a repeat of last night.
"What's wrong, Seokjin?" Jeongguk questions as he eyes the younger.
Seokjin's eyes flick to his, "Huh? Nothing–"
"It's clearly something since you're tiptoeing around me again."
Seokjin opens his mouth, but no words would come out because Jeongguk was right. He is...
The younger purses his lips before shrugging in response.
"Seokjin," Jeongguk says lowly as if his patience with the male is running thin.
'I thought–I dunno, just thought you might still be mad at me," he mutters, his gaze set down at the table, not daring to look Jeongguk in the eyes.
The older lets out a sigh, "I'm not mad at you. I never was. Things are just–" Jeongguk pauses, his mind trying to find the right words.
"Complicated?" Seokjin suggests, and the older nods, letting out a weak laugh.
"Something like that," he murmurs. "I'm serious Seokjin. I don't want to ruin what we have..."
Seokjin doesn't think too much into the older's words. He ignores the way his heart starts to race as he licks at his dry lips.
"Whatever it is hyung, I wouldn't hate you–"
Jeongguk let out a scoff. "Do you know how many people fed me that same lie? The moment I let anyone in, they go running."
"I was told to hate you, but look at us now. I'm here with you," The younger retorts, and the older shakes his head, letting out a sigh.
"This is different Seokjin," Jeongguk states, a hint of sadness in his voice as he looks away from the younger.
"Do you think you're a bad person?" The younger asks almost abruptly.
Jeongguk frowns, "What?"
"Do you think you're a bad person?" The younger questions again. "Do you think the way everyone has treated you is justifiable?"
And those words alone make tears prick at the corners of Jeongguk's eyes. He blinks back tears and swallows the lump in his throat.
"I was just a kid," He mutters out, voice quivering.
He tried to play it cool he really did, but that pretense tumbled off.
He thinks it's pathetic how easily Seokjin can make him feel like this.
The first time in months he's really ever felt something.
"But you beat yourself up for it. You need to give yourself a chance first," Seokjin advises gently, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes.
"You don't think I've tried? Everyone hates me, even my own brother. They hate me because of what they think happened, and–I'm starting to see things either way too."
Seokjin looks at the older with sad eyes, and he hates it.
He hates the pitied stares. He's not some poor boy. He's not the ideal misunderstood bad boy that everyone fetishizes when they come across him.
But the look in Seokjin's eyes isn't pity. It's a look of understanding and hurt as if he knew the situation at hand himself. And something about that makes his stomach turn and flutter. It makes his heart twinge and race because, for once, someone sees him as a person. For once, he could finally be heard.
He could only dream. Some things are just too good to be true.
Seokjin gazes over at the older. His eyes study the older carefully.
The way his hair was pushed back messily. His posture as he leaned over in his seat. The grim look on his face and the dark circles under his eyes. He looked lost and hurt as if his mind was burdened with thoughts he could barely understand himself.
"I won't push, hyung. Just know, I'm not here to judge you. I just... I want to be someone you trust," the younger says, and it's so sincere it sends chills down the older's spine.
Jeongguk nods, mustering up a weak smile, "Give me some time, Seokjin," he mutters.
Trust... He'd be a fool to believe in something like that again.
A smile pulls onto the younger's face. It's content and sweet and makes Jeongguk's heart race and palms clammy.
Jeongguk lets out a sharp sigh as his fingers tap at the wood table, "Let me fix you a plate," he mutters to the younger, avoiding eye contact.
God, he needs to get a fucking grip.
The younger nods, "That'd be great hyung–"
Seokjin picks up the device vibrating underneath his fingertips.
Ten missed calls and one text message from a number he doesn't know. The younger frowns as he clicks up the notification.
### - ####: Come outside Seokjin.
You: who is this???
### - ####:
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