In the Midst of the Crowd (Loser #1)

Chapter 31

Trigger Warning: Mention of Suicide and Violence

When it rains, it pours—that was an old saying I never thought was true. Na darating talaga sa punto ng buhay na magsasabay-sabay ang mga problema at wala ka nang matitirang ibang pamimilian kung hindi ang sumuko na lang.

Madaling araw na nang magising ako. Wala si Kobe sa tabi ko at parang hindi rin nagusot ang kama. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan siya, pero sigurado akong hindi siya tumabi sa akin.

And I was right.

Lumabas ako at nakita siyang bihis na bihis pa rin habang natutulog sa couch. Bumalik ako sa loob ng kwarto at kumuha ang comforter at unan. I felt a bit guilty that he didn't sleep in a comfortable place because of me. Ipinatong ko sa katawan niya ang comforter at inayos ang ulo niya sa unan. Bahagya siyang gumalaw kaya dali-dali akong lumayo sa kanya.

Umupo ako sa single couch at tiningnan ang mukha niya. Who would've thought that he'd love me? Parang noon ay pinanonood ko lang siya sa Youtube. Parang noon ay hinihiling ko lang na makita siya nang malapitan. I never imagined I'd fall in love with him so deeply that I'd give up everything to be with him. I have nothing to lose now.

Alam kong kahit i-delete ni Jennifer ang post ay kalat na rin 'yon. That's why people always say we should think before we click. Hindi ko alam kung nagsisisi ba siya na sinabi niya pa 'yon, pero ngayong personal siyang humingi ng tawad kay Kobe ay tama siguro ang sinabi ng lalaki. Ayaw niyang madamay si Jennifer sa gulo ng Soul Production.

I stayed with him for a bit longer until I decided to make a glass of milk for myself. Isang beses pa akong tumingin sa kanya bago umakyat.

"Have you seen Karsen's face earlier?"

That was Tita Penelope's voice... and she mentioned my name. I had enough of eavesdropping, but my feet automatically stopped to hear her properly. Nakaawang ang pinto ng opisina niya at kahit mahina lang ang boses niya ay abot na abot iyon ng pandinig ko.

"Ma." Nabosesan ko si Ate Clea.

"God, I really hate that girl."

"Ma!" pigil ang sigaw ni Ate Clea.

"Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ipinagpalit ni Kobe si Jennifer kay Karsen. She's prettier, more successful, and she has the perfect background for someone like Kobe."

"Hindi na bata si Kobe, Ma. He knows what he's doing."

I clenched my teeth in anger. Hindi pa rin pala tapos si Tita.

"Hindi ko alam kung ano pang gagawin ko para lang mapalayas ang babaeng 'yan dito. I want her to break up with Kobe!"

"What?" tanong ni Ate Clea. "What's happening to you, Ma?"

"You should get it by now, Clea!" Tumaas ang boses niya. "They're not for each other!"

"That's not for you to decide."

Tita Penelope scoffed. Hindi ko alam kung namamanhid na ako pero wala akong maramdamdaman sa sinasabi niya. Maybe I got used to it. Mas magugulat pa ako kung pupuriin niya ako.

"Don't you recognize her?"

Nagpantig ang tainga ko. I held onto the railings of the stairs to support myself.

"She was Yumi's child!"

Kumunot ang noo ko. Yumi... is that supposed to be the name of my mother?

"I don't understand, Ma..." saad ni Ate Clea. "Yumi? The one who has down syndrome?"

Hindi ko sila naiintindihan. I knew that my parents had an ugly past with them... but I don't get what they're saying... and why is it my fault.

"Yes! That one flirt who tried to ruin our family!" galit na galit ang boses niya.