In the Midst of the Crowd (Loser #1)

Chapter 43

The silence of the night and the cold breeze kissing the gentlest parts of my skin made me weigh the emotions in his eyes, and as I looked closer, I realized that those two dark brown universes spoke louder than his lips could.

Sincerity—this is what people call it, and through the darkness, I see it illuminating in his eyes.

"Nagbago na 'ko, Kobe."

After a long pause, that was all I could say. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang inaasahan ko. Maybe he was just under the illusion that I was still the Karsen he once fell in love with, and though I still had some broken fragments of my past self, I could, without the blink of an eye, say that I changed.

"We're supposed to," he replied.

"You don't know me now." I tried to smile but failed. "At hindi ko alam kung saan ko pa isisingit ang pagmamahal. I barely have time for myself."

His chest heaved. "Do whatever you have to do, Karsen. I don't mind waiting." The fierceness in his eyes made me shiver. "I won't ask for assurance. I won't ask for your time." Umiling siya. "I won't ask for anything." Umangat ang isang gilid ng labi niya. "My heart just never runs out of love for you. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ko pa 'to ibubuhos."

Nag-init ang puso ko. "Kay Gayle—"

"Oh, trust me, I have a different type of love for her." He chuckled lowly. "It's overflowing, too."

I took a step back. "Umuwi ka na. It's getting late."

"You didn't answer my question," he said, still looking closely at me.

Ikinunot ko ang noo. "Bahala ka sa buhay mo. Basta wala kang aasahan sa 'kin."

Kapag nagtagal pa siya rito, baka masira lang ang pader na iniharang ko sa puso ko. I felt special. He made me feel that way.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Ano?" pagsusungit ko.

"For raising our daughter... and for still being here."

Lumunok ako. "Umuwi ka na."

"I haven't said this yet... but I'm very proud of you, Karsen." He smiled. "You made it impossible for me to love somebody else."

Hindi ko alam kung paano natapos ang gabing iyon nang normal pa ang paghinga ko. He uttered things that my feeble mind couldn't process and my frail heart couldn't bear.

Hindi niya ako niligawan noon. We skipped that part. Ni hindi rin maganda ang oras noong naging magkasintahan kami. He caught me being overly jealous on his kissing scene with Jennifer. It was awkward, and the timing was just wrong. Kung liligawan niya ako ngayon, hindi ba masyado nang late para doon? We have a child. Parang baligtad yata ang proseso.

The next day, after doing my morning routine, I saw Kobe standing outside the apartment, holding a bouque. He was dressed in a white polo shirt, giving emphasis to his muscular body, and black pants that were pinned down by a brown leather belt. Nakasandal siya sa SUV niya, bahagyang nakayuko at hinahangin ang buhok.

My eyes widened. Tanga ba siya?! Ano bang tingin niya sa sarili niya? Normal na tao?!

"Kobe!" I hissed. "Pumasok ka sa loob ng sasakyan mo! Baka magising ang mga kapitbahay namin at makita ka rito."

Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at nang makita ang kabuuan ko ay ngumiti siya.

"Good morning."

Naramdaman ko ang pagbalikwas ni Gayle na nakasubsob lang kanina sa leeg ko. Napatingin siya kay Kobe at kung kanina ay parang lantang gulay siyang nakasabit sa akin, ngayon ay hindi na siya magkamayaw sa pagkaway sa lalaki.