Love hurts 18+ (BTS Jimin)

27) Vulnerability

3 days passed and Jimin and N were now supposed to meet. Jimin figured he would discuss what happened with her and apologize, however as they were meeting it was like he just couldn't talk about it... so they never ended up discussing it.

They literally went the whole session without even mentioning it. N was clearly trying to pretend that it didn't even happen, however she only did so because she was nervous. Before Jimin knew it the session was over and N left... and he didn't even get to apologize!

More time passed and it had now been 10 days since the incident. In the span of those 10 days Jimin and N had met 3 times and they had still not discussed what happened! They just kept pretending that nothing happened and it was killing both of them.

As Jungkook was coming to check up on Jimin today he decided to ask about N since Jimin hadn't mentioned anything since their previous conversation about the topic 10 days ago.

Jungkook: "Hey so, I gotta ask you bro because you haven't updated me yet, have you talked to N? Like ya know, since you tried to kiss her?"
Jimin: "Oh...uhm, yeah we've met like 3 times since then" he said, obviously knowing that Jungkook was not asking about if they've met but rather if they've talked about the kiss that didn't happen.

Jimin didn't feel like talking about it so he tried to brush the question away lmao.

Jungkook: "Come on that's not what I meant... have you talked about the kiss and your relationship and stuff?"
Jimin: "Uhm...not yet.."
Jungkook: "For fucks sake dude! You've literally met her 3 times and y'all haven't discussed it yet? Come on man"
Jimin: "Look I know it's bad, but we're just kinda pretending it didn't happen...so I can't really talk about it"
Jungkook: "Jimin.. you know that's the worst thing you could do to yourself, and to her"
Jimin: "I know, it's just... I want to discuss it but it's like I just can't bring it up you know"
Jungkook: "Right... so you two straight up pretend it didn't happen? And you just talk about your problems like normal??"
Jimin: "Pretty much yeah... it's just awkward now because she knows I still love her and it's killing me to pretend like I don't"
Jungkook: "Of course, but you shouldn't have to pretend though... you know what I mean?"
Jimin: "No man I have to, she obviously moved on so I'll just make her feel uncomfortable if I don't pretend like I've moved on too, even though it's obvious that I haven't now...but still"
Jungkook: "See, what kind of mentality is that? You shouldn't do that to yourself bro, you're hurting yourself so bad by doing that. You NEED to discuss it with her that's just how it is. Let's be real, she's never going to bring it up so you gotta do it. Just imagine how much closure you're gonna get if you discuss it, and who knows, maybe she'll admit that she was just nervous and she still loves you"
Jimin: "I wish it was that simple, but when you say all that you're only thinking about how I feel, you need to consider how N feels too. I know I'm hurting myself with all of this, but I'm gonna hurt her too if I keep pushing myself on her like that, and I don't want that"
Jungkook: "It IS that simple Jimin. Now you're acting like y'all didn't have a 3 year long relationship. You've always been really close I don't think it's gonna hurt her if you just simply tell her how you feel"
Jimin: "Mmm...I guess you're right, I just don't know what to do... I don't wanna lose her more than I already have..."
Jungkook: "You're losing her more by not being real with her and you know that, so just fucking tell her how you feel. Be honest and tell her you miss her"

Meanwhile the dudes were having this conversation, shit was happening over at N's. She was supposed to be a school right now to deliver an important presentation in front of her class, however her anxiety got it the way and she was scared to death to do the presentation so she decided to skip school.

Let's just say her best friend sure wasn't happy about that decision. All she wanted was for N to succeed and overcome her anxiety, so she kept pushing and yelling at N to get herself together and go to school but N wasn't able to do so... Therefore N and her bestie got into an argument which started the build up for an anxiety attack.

Even though N sure as hell didn't want to be alone, she didn't want to be with her best friend right now because they just had that argument, so she begged her bestie to just leave her alone right now which she eventually did. N felt so scared being alone now though... especially because she was having an anxiety attack.

She didn't know what to do as she felt so out of control. She was crying and shaking and nothing seemed to be able to calm her down... Her mind kept telling her to call Jimin, as he was one of the very few people who could make her feel safe, but her stupid anxiety thoughts kept telling her that he didn't care about her and he didn't want to help her... which obviously isn't true.

Her attack was building really fast though, and she got more and more scared for every second that passed so she finally decided to call him to ask if she could come over. She was crying and shaking and he was obviously going to hear that so she had to tell him about the anxiety attack too.

Jimin: "I just miss that time so much" he said as they were talking about Jimin and N's relationship lmao.

Jungkook: "I'm sure she does too, you just have to- yooooo dude! N is calling you!!" he screamed as he saw the name on the incoming call on Jimin's phone.

Jimin: "Wait oh my god, yooo dude she's actually calling me what the heck"
Jungkook: "I know! Bro quit panicking and pick that shit up!" he said as Jimin picked up his phone from the lil table and answered the call. Jungkook was smirking and looking at Jimin like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) the entire time looool.

Jimin: "Hi"
N: "Hi... I... uhm...I'm...I'm really sorry if... I'm bothering you...uhm..." she said nervously, trying not to reveal that she was crying.

Jimin: "You're not bothering me at all... is everything okay?" he softly said as he quickly realized what was happening with her. He knew her so well so he immediately realized.

N: "No... I'm sorry..." she cried out through the phone which had Jimin really worried.

Jimin: "Hey it's okay, can you tell me what happened..?"
N: "I...I'm just.. really scared... and...and my best friend hates me...and my school hates me... and I know...you don't care...but I don't know what to do right now... I'm really really scared..."
Jimin: "I do care N, we'll get you through this okay? Are you alone?"
N: "Yes...my friend just left... but... I was calling to... uhm... to ask if... if I can maybe come over... because... I don't want to be alone..." she said, still crying and shaking. Luckily Jimin was still ready to do everything he could to protect her.

Jimin: "Okay, yes of course you can, where are you right now?"
N: "At home...."
Jimin: "Okay, then maybe it's not the best idea right now, you shouldn't go out alone when you feel like this.. If you want, I can come over instead? Is that okay?"
N: "Would...would you really do that...? I.. live kinda far away..."
Jimin: "That doesn't matter, I'll come over if that's what you need" he said as Jungkook looked at him with wide eyes.

He didn't understand what was happening so as he heard Jimin say that he was coming over to N's place he started hyping Jimin up internally as he just assumed that meant he and N were going to talk everything through lol.

N: "Thank you Jimin..."
Jimin: "Of course, will you focus on breathing while you wait for me so it doesn't get worse?"
N: "I'll try..."
Jimin: "I'll be there as fast as I can okay?"
N: "Okay... thank you" she shakily said as their conversation ended. Jimin knew N's address from therapy if you were wondering how he got that lmao.

Jungkook: "Are you going to see N??"
Jimin: "Yes"
Jungkook: "Holy shit, she called you because she wanted to see you?"
Jimin: "Mmm...kind of"
Jungkook: "Kind of? Well that's enough for me! This is literally your chance to confess and kiss her and shit"
Jimin: "Dude...no she was having an anxiety attack, I'm not gonna stress her with all that"
Jungkook: "Oh shit...so that's why she called you, is she gonna be okay??"
Jimin: "Yes she'll be okay, but I need to help her calm down so I'm gonna go now"
Jungkook: "Alright, damn, I'm just gonna chill here until you get back then"
Jimin: "Sure, it might take a while though"
Jungkook: "That's fine, but hey just let this sink in, she called YOU dude, she needs YOU right now, that means you still make her feel safe and if that's not fucking love then I don't know what it is!" he said as Jimin just smiled and then left in a hurry as he wanted to get to N as fast as possible.