Every step Together

65. New Normal

Well it's like a shock to myself, I can't believe I penned a chappie this quickly. However, it's all for you Debs... as you like it's 10k words long. Hope you smile. Last but latest.... Happy every day Dearest Debu, each and every second may fill you with infectious joys. Ma Kaali loves you

As always this chapter is going to shed light on those things mostly ignored and ridiculed. Hope we soon accept the New Normal

Tripthi's PoV :

Krishna.. Krishna... No. My eyelids are shutting, please keep me awake. We still have four uniforms to stitch and the time is already 5 am.

Severe backache is killing me since long as I have been stitching continuously for ten hours straight. Not for once, I got up since Mr.Kohli left the place.

Concentrate Tripthi.. you need to revise the current affairs and AFSB is approaching..

My toes gave up, with all the stitching. Sleep danced over my head and mosquitoes squeezed blood out of my body.

My mind revolved around the incidents that have happened yesterday, I did like the way I am trying to change, but there is something seriously wrong with me, I keep losing my mind around him and spilling out things.

How much of a blunder if it would be had I told him about our marriage?

"Ahaann.. marriage. So you have finally agreed" my heart taunted.

"Shut up, you are the reason for everything. How can I be soo foolish to hear you? I just said he too deserves the amount of understanding, support, and a pat on the back like he does to me. I didn't mean to be stupid, but somehow I turn irrecoverably insane around him" I whined.

"What is wrong with you Tripthi? What will happen if he gets to know? Don't you know how much he loves you? Tell me the truth, did anyone ever make you feel this good about your existence? You used to cry buckets Tripthi, if he is an orphan having no one, you are an orphan having everyone. I don't understand why do you keep pushing him away, though with his every single breath he proves how much he values you and love you" heart urged.

"Okay dearest Heartie, I get you... I really do. You love being cherished, you love the way he looks at you and how he never fails to make you fly, but darling remember the promises I did to Dad, I did to myself.. to the hell with promises. Just think about our first love" I muttered.

"Krishna... what does Mr.Kohli has to do with Krishna?" heart demanded.

"Sorry my bad, not first love. Our second love, my dream to see me in uniform. Darling, we are just 19 days away from AFSB. Don't you know how many times I imagined myself donning the uniform? For me it is not just a job or pride or thing to prove. The overly confused and petrified me is not new to you but if there is anything I am damn sure of it is my dream.. my goal... my ambition that keeps me alive. Nothing will ever be more important to me than living my dream"

"Tripthi, Armaan thought of not having kids.. Do you even understand what that means? A guy who grew up without a family who loves babies, who dreamt of having a family just gave it up like that because he felt babies might be a hindrance in your dreams and you have apprehensions on that person?" heart of mine scoffed.

"No.. I am not against him. To be honest I felt overwhelmed when I understood why he must have thought of not having babies. No one ever cared that much for me. I understand that his feelings are true, I do trust that but you need to understand that I am not sure, I don't even know what I want to do with him. Sometimes I just want to squish his cheeks and keep him closest to my heart and sometimes I don't even want my existence" I sighed hard.