I Am My Own (Reader x Thranduil)

Chapter 38

It's astonishing how quickly things can change; how quickly everything can be turned on it's head. Thranduil was missing more and more as the days went on, held up with meetings and training exercises. You'd think I would be used to it by now but it never gets any easier.

I was tired of consuming all of the medicine Saevel gave me in order to combat my ever so common aches and pains I would feel throughout my body. Fatigue seemed to keep me from doing hardly anything productive and I had to have new dresses made for my now protruding stomach.

I didn't mind. I knew it was natural to grow in size like this even though at times I felt as if I were in someone else's body.

"You still look as beautiful as ever," Saevel had said to me one day as she caught me inspecting myself in the mirror. I had begun to need her help much more often than what I was used to. Putting shoes on and bending over to pick up anything seemed to be the most difficult tasks of the day.

Saevel never again mentioned the night she cried into my arms, and I never brought it up. It was as if it never happened and there were moments I thought perhaps maybe I had dreamt it up. But when I looked at my dear friend, from time to time, I would catch a new glimpse of something in her eye. Perhaps it was trust, or a new dawn of friendship, or even just the feeling of being safe and knowing that there was a space for her to be vulnerable in with me. That's how I would know it wasn't a dream. Saevel and I had become much closer and that was apparent.

The only thing that hadn't seemed to change much was Valori. She still carried herself the same, keeping quiet and doing her work with her head bowed low. I hated seeing the way she walked the halls of the palace, as if there was nothing left but a ghost of herself; a shell of an elleth.

A broken heart. An unrequited love. Everything she hoped to have one day, shattered to an unrepairable degree.

She'll get better, I reassured myself while having my morning tea, It will just take time.

Fall had begun to dip into winter with its cooler temperatures and staying by a warm fire for most of the day was what I preferred. I placed my hand atop my stomach. It was difficult last night. Sleep was a stranger for me and Thranduil hadn't come to bed either. He was spending much of his time in his father's company to help and give his opinion wherever he could.

I pushed myself to my feet and went off in search of my husband. Perhaps he would have enough time to spare just to speak for a moment. I needed to get my mind away from everything.

By this point, I knew exactly where the council room was and made a quick beeline for it, knowing that's the most likely of places that he'd be.

Approaching the doors, two guards stood at attention, as always. I recognized both and gave them a warm smile as I neared. They nodded slightly in return, sure to not disrupt their duties and professionalism as guards.

"Though I respect your opinion to the highest degree, this is not your decision to make Thranduil."

My hand had reached for the handle of the door but stopped short the moment I heard my husband's name. It was Oropher who spoke in a stern enough voice that I could almost envision that hard gaze he wore when he was serious about something.

"Our weapons will not be enough to combat those of Sauron's legions."

It was Thranduil who spoke now. I steadied my breathing and decided to finally pull the doors open as quietly as I could.

When I entered, Thranduil had his hands planted firmly on a large table covered with maps and other papers, decked in his gleaming silver armor. Oropher stood across from him, in an elegant silver tunic and well tailored pants while a dark green and gold detailed cloak hung from his shoulders. A few councilors were there as well but they seemed busy in conversation with each other, allowing their leaders to complete their dispute