I Am My Own (Reader x Thranduil)

Chapter 16

(Y/N)'s POV

Nessa was beginning to breath heavy from running for so long and fast with me on her back. I had been pleased to find that only one guard was by the stables while the others were most likely tending to duties centered around the party. I had waited quietly in the night for the guard to simply turn the other way before I quickly unlatched the stable door and led Nessa out so that I could safely mount her without risk of being caught.

We had been traveling nonstop for at least an hour now but the thick forest made it seem as if we were making little to no progress at all. We were both exhausted from the intense riding and to add to the misery I soon realized I was also lost.

I had studied maps of these lands so many times I could draw a replica of one with my eyes shut. But it's quite different when your actually in the terrain itself.

Feeling frustrated and defeated, I slowed Nessa to a halt and began to walk on foot with her following me close behind.

I stumbled over rocks and fallen branches since I could hardly see in front of me. It was like climbing further and further into a cave. The moonlight was dissipating as I made my way deeper and deeper into the forest. Yelps and howls of unknown began to sound closer to me.

You should have at least grabbed a weapon of some kind. Stupid!

"Okay Nessa, we'll stop here to rest a bit."

I tied her lead to a low hanging branch of a tree and pulled out a blanket from the satchel attached to her back. I leaned against the trunk and rested my head on it. My thoughts ran wild as I tried to think about what I was going to do next.

If I could just find my way out of the forest, there would be so many different places I could go.

I wonder if they even notice I'm gone yet.

I knew it was morbid thinking but I couldn't help my mind from traveling.

He's probably still cuddled up with Valori.

Here in the dark of the forest I felt the loneliness swallow me whole. I pulled the blanket a little closer around me and my throat clenched tighter the more I thought about him.

When I first got here, there was nothing I wanted more than to run away and never see Greenwood again. Now, it felt like I left a piece of me there. I didn't even know if I was making the right choice.

Stop it! He doesn't love you.

He doesn't love me. Tonight's events had proven that.

You don't even love him... But you could learn to love him.

I shot up straight and ran the sentence over in my head again. Maybe I could learn to love him and perhaps he could do the same.

Thranduil had tried to say something to me but I left before he got the chance. I didn't let him explain. And he probably felt just as bad as I did when I took off with Glorfindel. Except he didn't run away crying like a toddler who didn't get their way. I felt the guilt swarm over me.

You have to go back.

I stood up abruptly, shoved the blanket back into the pack, and untied Nessa. Even if he didn't love me, I had to at least tell him I was sorry and allow him to explain.

I swung my leg over the back of Nessa.

"Alright Nessa, I know I just told you we were going to rest but I need to get back...fast."

She heard my words and took off in the direction we had come. I trusted that she knew the way because I had no idea where I was.

I low screech split through the air and halted Nessa in her tracks. My eyes searched as far as they could see but nothing was visible.