Losing control (Hiccup x Reader)

Chapter 32

You weren't sure what the time was, but judging from the faint orange glow starting to light up the sky it was still very early in the morning.
Sleep wasn't an option anymore so you peel yourself off Hiccup and walk to your desk. Sitting deep in thought. Replaying the dream over and over again.
You graze your fingers over the now healed area where you knocked your head, a faint scar was all that was left. You sigh and reach for one of your books and begin reading. Why you'd never thought of doing this before was beyond you. Maybe you could find something that would help you remember more.
As you skim through the pages, two words catch your attention "hidden world." You hmm to yourself and read the text below.
Apparently you were very interested in the hidden world at some point and the notes you had made on it were re grabbing your attention. Then an idea pops up. You grab your bag and load it with essentials and the book, then take a pencil and paper and write a note and creep downstairs and put it on the table, put your black cloak on and head outside to The stable to get Spear.

Hiccup sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes. He looks down beside him noticing you weren't there. Maybe you went out for an early fly. He stands up and stretches then heads downstairs to see your father, Harald sat at the table reading your letter with a frown.
The stair creeks and Harald's eyes look up "she's gone." He says. Hiccup gives him a questioning look "she left a note...said she's gone exploring for a few days with Spear." Harald lets out a long frustrated sigh "she's so....she doesn't think things through!"
He clenches the paper and looks up at the young chief again "how are things between you two, by the way?"
"Uhm...they're fine, I mean. She's slowly trusting me again. she's told me of visions she's been having, possibly memories."
"So that's progress. I'm glad...but a part of me doesn't want her to ever remember her mothers death. It crushed her. I can't see my daughter go through that again."
"Sometimes...we have to go through pain. At first it knocks you down, but with time when you get back up it makes you stronger." Hiccup says, almost in a whisper.

Harald reaches up and pats his shoulder "you're a good young man, Hiccup. I know it must have been hard to lose your connection to her, but you never gave up. You stayed by her side. You...really do love her."
Hiccup smiles "I really do."

——-

You'd been gone for 2 days, no progress with finding any traces of the hidden world to prove it really exists. But that was the least of your issues right now.
You slide your feet along the ground to stop, feeling your warm blood soak into the cloth of your mask as your now busted lip pulsated from the recent blow. But you weren't going to reveal your identification. Especially not to the scumbag stood in front of you, fist still clenched as he lowers it down.
You glare daggers into him and straighten your self up. Sword at the ready attached to your belt. The man runs forward but you shoot at the floor and spring up into the air, the man looks up in disbelief. You grab onto your sword and lift it above your shoulder falling back down, screaming.
The man jumps out of the way your sword slashing into the ground. "You...you're a freak!" He bellows, once again charging. You hold your hand out blasting him backwards slamming him against a tree "I'm unique." You say walking towards him, eyes cold.
He groans in pain and you kneel down to his level and grab onto his hair, lifting his head up "now, we can do this one of two ways. You let that family of dragons go. Or, either of us can kill you."
The man looks over at Spear who was waiting patiently for your signal. Back arched, his three stingers raised and pointing, ready to strike. "But we Im not that kinda person. But my dragon over there....Three stingers...hint the name Triple Stryke." You say, holding your sword up to the man's neck "he has a very precise aim too. He won't miss a single strike."

The man lifts his foot and kicks you in the gut and scrambles to his feet, you wince, Spear roars but you hold your hand out to him, signalling him to wait.
"I've had enough of you hunters. You're all dirt." You yell, pushing past the pain you shoot at the floor sending a dust cloud to rise and you disappear into it. The man looks around frantically, holding onto his weapon tightly. A rock explodes him and he quickly jumps out of the way.
"Where are you, freak?" He screams, a tone of fear in his voice. You shake your head and step up behind him and tap his shoulder as he turns his head it's met with your fist "right here."
He clutches his cheek for a moment and growls. He tries to tackle you to the floor but you quickly dodge and wrap your cloak around his face. You struggle to hold onto him. He was much stronger than you, you feel your grip start to loosen and quickly let him go and make some distance between the two of you. The man screams again and you spin back around holding your sword out in front of you, eyes squeezed shut. You feel a jolt and a gasp.
Your sword gets heavy as the now dead hunter lowers to the floor. You let go of the handle and he falls down. You back away, legs starting to wobble. Spear quickly catches you as you fall to your knees staring at your shaking hands. You just killed someone...a person.

You couldn't breathe. Your mind was spinning. All you could look at was the hunter laying in a pool of his own blood. Your heart was thumping loudly in your ears. Spear breaks the lock of the cage, and the captured dragons quickly fly off and he runs back to your side, engulfing you as you sit in shock, unable to move. He then picks you up with his claws and carefully wraps one of his tails around your shaken body lifting you gently and places you onto his back and takes off. You look over at the dead man a final time.

What had you done?

He glides smoothly through the sky, knowing exactly where he was going. As familiar islands come into view he calls out, listening for any kind of response. Then he hears it. He picks up his pace and heads towards the response. You were too shaken up to realise where you were.

You snap out from your thoughts as an upside down face comes into view. It was Hiccup "well, hello there stranger!" He beams, you just stare at him his wide eyes then look up and see Toothless flying upside down, Hiccup was turned around on his seat so he could face you. He looked extremely happy.
"Been Kinda boring without you!" Hiccup says reaching for your mask and pulling it down, you don't even wince as the dried blood that had stuck between your skin and the fabric pulls as it peels down with the fabric. his face quickly falling into shock as your lip comes into view and he finally notices the terror in your eyes. Your mouth hanging open slightly "what happened to you?"
You couldn't speak, he gestures Toothless to turn upright. You zone out again, images of the blood flashing in your mind you don't notice Spear flying closer to Toothless and Hiccup re adjusting and pulling you off your dragon and onto his, to sit behind him. You wrap your arms around his waist, pressing your face into his back and he tells Toothless to hurry home.

Hiccup rushes you inside his house and sits you down. He then grabs a bowls of fish and places them down by the fire, Spear gratefully gobbles it up.
Hiccup grabs a few items and kneels down in front of you, dipping a cloth into some warm water and begins gently wiping the dried blood away and cleaning the cut on your bottom lip. It wasn't too big, almost at the corner of your mouth but it was swollen.
He stays silent as he focuses carefully, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he very slowly wipes away more blood, then re wiping it to ensure it was complexly clean.
When he was done he moves the bowl and cloth out of the way "is there some kind of cream I can put on your cut?" He asks gently "my bag. Small bottle." You reply, emotionless.
He scrambles through your bag and finds two small bottles "uhm...which one." He holds them up. You move your eyes and stare at the right bottle. He pops the lid off and pours some of the liquid onto a new cloth and gently dabs it onto the cut "ok...all done." He clears everything up and puts them on the table. He looks over his shoulder, noticing you hadn't moved an inch. Not even when he was cleaning the cut, surely it stung.

He walks back over and sits beside you and cups your chin, slowly moving your head to look at him. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, his voice soft, you gulp "you don't have too right now. Only when you're ready."
"I wasn't planning on coming back today. But I guess Spear had other ideas for me." You say quietly.

"You have been injured." He replies, picking up a fur blanket from the floor and draping it over your shoulders "yeah, but nothing major, if I hadn't." You pause, replaying the sound of the Hunter as he gasped his final breath, a strong shiver slivers down your spine and you pull the blanket tighter around your body, dropping your head down, letting your hair fall over your eyes.

"If you hadn't?" He tilts his head and you sigh "I'm not a good person."
"Of course you are."
You clench your jaw as you fight against the tears now clouding your vision "you don't know what I've done."
"But I want to know." He replies "I promise. There's no judgement. You thought I was going to banish you when I accidentally found out about your ability all those months ago." He pauses when he recalls that you don't even remember that moment.
"But anyway. I want to prove to you again that you can trust me." He leans in closer, his warm breath hitting your lips "I miss you...so much."

You lean back and stand up walking towards the fire, Hiccup stays sat down, you stare at the flames.
"(Y/n)?"
"I'm not a good person." You say again gripping onto the fur tighter, Hiccup shuffles on his seat "I don't understand why you think that."
You look over at him then down at your hands, your vision shifting, showing them covering them with blood, you shake your head wiping your hands harshly on the blanket. "Something happened out there, and it's really messing with you."

You take a deep breath.

"Hiccup...I've killed someone."