✓ | The Clandestine Memoir (Fate's Transgression Series, #1) [UNDER REVISION]

Chapter 3

~•[Chapter 3]•~

SEISHA:

Trees. Grass. Dry and wet leaves. Withered logs. Brittle soil. The pitch-black unknown welcomed my feet as I walked on its entrance. The shade who can no longer give light to my way as I dug deeper into the bewilderment.

My feet are sore from wearing heels, my ankles ached from the pressure of carrying the weight of my body, and my lungs can no longer provide more air.

I can hear the melody of birds chirping a song only they can understand. I can sense the shadows of hostile animals, dancing with the wild cane, hiding behind the trees, and watching my moves.

The vibration of the land is evident from those large creatures walking in the thatch grass. The forest is not for the faint of heart.

Hindi ko na alam kung nasaan ako. In every direction, everything is the same. Malalaking puno, matataas na damo, mga huni ng ibon at yabag ng mga mababangis na hayop.

Nakatirik ang araw pero madilim ang kagubatan. Sa haba at bigat ng damit na suot ko, halos bawat takbo na ginagawa ko ay tinatanggal ang ilang mga patong na tela nito.

Hingal na hingal na ako, ngunit hindi tumitigil ang aking mga paa sa pagtakbo. Kailangan kong makalayo.

Wala akong matinong plano dahil una, hindi ako tagarito. Pangalawa, isang linggo pa lang akong narito at ni isang mapa ng distrikto wala, paano ko maisasagawa ang plano?

All I had in my mind was to escape from that mansion, to escape from those people, to flee away–- to die.

I was prepared to die when I jumped from that building. I was ready to accept that I lost when I felt my body touch the ground, I was ready, I was ready to be swallowed by darkness, and yet, here I am, in the body of someone else.

Habang humahangos dahil nauubusan na ako ng hangin, nagawa pang tumulo ng aking mga luha. Halos madilim na nga ang paningin ko pero hindi pa rin ako tumigil.

Wala na akong pakialam kung saan man ako dalhin ng aking mga paa. Hindi ko rin alam kung nakasunod pa ba sa akin sila Helena.

If they did, I don't want them to find me.

That is why I can't stop; my feet have their own determination to run away. This surging will be no longer fueled by escaping, it is a must. I am afraid that if they catch me, everything will never be the same.

Just like from my previous life. Thinking about everything I've gone through— continuous disappointments, comparing myself to others, being degraded just because I was weak.

I did not sign up for another life, for another cycle of suffering in someone's body. Hindi ito ang gusto kong mangyari, kaya bakit kailangan kong manatili?

I may be selfish, I may be self-centered for only thinking about my own pain and not minding the feelings of everyone or even the owner of this body. Whoever she is, she needs to come back and sort things out. Kasi ako? Ayoko na.

Pagod na ako, pagod na ako sa lahat. Hindi ko alam kung anong punto kung bakit ako napadpad dito, kung bakit hindi ako tinubos ni San Pedro.

Is it because killing yourself is a sin? A disdain from the law? the bible? It is a fault to harm yourself, and anyone in your kind, but why do people still do that as some sort of entertainment? Is it because murder is the only act with proper measurement?

That if you kill, you will eventually be labeled as a criminal. How about those mouths that speak foul words? Those hands that treated me as trash, those eyes that looked at me as if I was a disgrace?