✓ | The Clandestine Memoir (Fate's Transgression Series, #1) [UNDER REVISION]

Chapter 19

~•[Chapter 19]•~

SEISHA:

When I decided to say that I am calling off the marriage, I readed myself for the worst possible outcome. I cannot say if I am prepared, but at least I have prior confidence for this matter. This decision was not planned but I can no longer pretend.

Totoo lahat ng sinabi ko, at totoo lahat ng nararamdaman ko. The overwhelming feeling got a hold of me, and I've been trying to control my emotions. I said before that I won't decide until the real Seisha gets back, but I have no more strength to pretend I am still the princess.

I am not the princess. I am here inside her body. What my actions are will reflect her dignity and position as a princess of Henia and the future Queen of Zegordia.

Alam ko malaking gulo ang mangyayari kapag nalaman nila na hindi ako ang kilala nilang babae, pero gusto kong protektahan ang sarili ko at ang katawan ng babaeng ito, sa lahat.

The world is too much for her. Kahit na binuhos ni Seisha ang buong buhay niya sa karangyaan, hindi maipagkakaila na minsan ninais niya din na maging malaya.

I know because she wrote it. Minsan niya ng pinangarap na mamuhay na labas sa palasyo at sa kanyang sariling kadugo. Palagiaan niyang binanbanggit ang mga lugar na hindi ko alam, at base sa mga sinusulat niya, masaya siyang nakarating doon.

I want to give it a try. I want to start a step by letting go of something I know that is holding me to get what I should have. Being chained by these walls and their doctrine is something I can give up but the real Seisha can't.

Kaya ko ginawa. I acted on her behalf, and if the time comes that she will come back, I hope she will forgive my indulgence. I based my actions on what her writing portrays, and how I wished I did not mistranslate them.

Wherever she is now, everything that I am doing is for her own good. Hindi ko muna iisipin kung ano ang mangyayari sa araw na babalik siya, dahil ngayon, kailangan ko siyang isalba sa lahat ng nangyayari dito. Kailangan ko ang katawan niya para makaalis dito. Total, hindi niya din naman gusto ang ganitong buhay.

The princess has no interest in being a Queen. She wrote that multiple times, but since she has noble blood and is picked by the King, she has no choice but to obey. I am currently filling her place, and dapat hindi siya magmaktol dahil kasalanan namin pareho ang nangyari.

"Your Highness," Helena said, bowing. "Princess Frencia had requested to enter the mansion."

Napa Buntong-hininga ako. Bakit ko ba pinangako 'yon?

"Let her in—"

"ATE!!"

Frencia's voice enveloped my entire mansion. Hindi ko akalain na nasa labas lamang pala siya ng kwarto ko kaya nanlalaking mga mata akong tumingin kay Helena. She gave me an apologetic look before she excused herself and Frencia swormed in smiling.

She's not wearing a dress that gave me an impression.

A black tucked in trouser, paired with white polo under a carnation cardigan sweater. What covered her feet were black laced booties, and her sailor moon pigtails hairstyle made me confused.

"Saan ka pupunta?" tanong ko sa kanya habang papalapit ito. She then sat on the empty couch beside me. "I thought you went horseback riding with your brother and Sebastian? The chambermaids even said the three of you will visit Suin later."

"Correction! They both went racing and I was left alone!" Frencia pouted her lips as she gleaned disappointment. "Lucius has an appointment in the center of Suin kaya siya pupunta. Dapat naman talaga akong sumama pero naisip ko na baka gusto mong sumabay."