✓ | The Clandestine Memoir (Fate's Transgression Series, #1) [UNDER REVISION]

Prologue

Important Notice! This chapter has sensitive themes (suicide) as I've mentioned, please ward off the minors. 'Wag ng makulit, please lang!

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Prologue

"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you meant to be." - All You Need is Love (The Beatles).

SEISHA:

Living this life of mine wasn't easy.

I never learned how to devour my own weaknesses and used it for the development of oneself. I did not know how to conquer my frights and anxieties: I was misled.

No one taught me how to develop myself and my individual responsibilities, for my surroundings and the society focused on dealing with life science and technologies which corrupts the minds of people making them literally hooked on how to achieve expectations of others rather than making their own self-contentment.

No one tries to bring back the old justice and peace, the old symbols of freedom and devotion.

Everyone grows and finds their own satisfaction, and no one dares to care about humanity anymore. We tried to learn how to find X in different equations and formulas, but no one tried to make us understand pain and suffering. Science taught us about other things, but not how to tame our own self emotions.

People forced us to be a better version of them, but we found ourselves lurking in the shadow of imperfections. No one taught us about struggles, difficulties and inside battles. How to fight depression and anxieties, how to become an emotionally strong human, and how to manage life and its construction.

They think we are ready, that we could save this world. But all we ever faced throughout the journey was: comparison, insecurities and a high standard society.

That's why I am tired, exhausted, overused.

They think we are warriors and hate us for we have never been good enough to win any battles. We need masters who understand pain and self-harm, who pursue us to fight with a wooden sword, who pushes us to be strong and face challenges as a step by step learning process: saying to use the stairs rather than elevators to achieve goals.

We need an educator to tell us about philosophizing the inner self and learn how to control emotions, to develop mistakes into inspiration, to mold us into satisfying sculptures that the society could be proud of.

These tiny voices of mine haven't been heard while living this life.

I silently whimper at the dim, wishing to be heard by a kind-hearted human. That's all I ever wanted, a person— no, a world that understands me, that we are just a product of their unfortunate events, the janitors of their mistakes, that it wasn't our fault why we never reached their standards. We never committed any mistakes, for their foolishness was passed to ours.

This world is already rotten, and it wasn't my fault why I couldn't save it. They couldn't save the world before, and their mishaps eventually accused the next generation. And if this chaos continues and not filtering havoc, humans continue to judge others, if there's no devotion to the country, then our future will forever be an illusion crafted in each other's minds.

Looking back to everything that happened to my life, all those pain, all those days I spent crying over things I cannot control. I'm done, I can't live any longer. I am so done with all these bullshits, with all these unending suffering. I just wanted everything to end.

"The moon is shining, Seisha..."

My gaze settled on the full moon. Admiring Diana has been a hobby ever since I was a baby— as what my Aunt says. I love calling the moon 'Diana', because she's the Roman goddess of the moon.