soulmate, pete davidson

027. you're dead to me

he tried everything to get in contact with her. he didn't know what the fuck he was on last night, but all he wished was for a redo. to finally tell her that he likes her for who she is. pete would pay any amount for a second chance, something he knows he'll never get.

the snl actor fucked up, and he fucked up horribly. he's called her twenty times, and texted even more. apologizes on end, voicemail box full from the amount of times he'd apologize. at this point he might of thought she'd block him.

oh how he knew that this is exactly how she felt when he was out of town. a liar. a liar is all he is. a person who lied to try and make someone else feel what he felt. how could she move on? those questions ran through his head on a never ending lap.

hours have passed, no call back, no text, nothing. it's not like she owed him a text or call back but he wanted to know if she was alright.

he thought to go by her house but considering last nights events it isn't the best idea. and so he decided to text maude, she'd most likely know something.

IMESSAGE
( maude, pete )

pete
maude do u know anything about ash?
is she okay?
how much did i hurt her last night?
are you with her?
tell her to answer my texts.
wait no don't do that
just tell her i'm sorry
i mean it.

maude
leave her alone pete.
you have no right

pete
i know i'm really fucking sorry
i don't know what got into me
like what the fuck was i on?
please, just i wanna apologize.

this message cannot be sent !

pete
did you block me? really?
this message cannot be sent !

he was blocked. all he wanted to do was apologize, nothing more. she could slap him, yell at him. fuck, she could even punch him he would't care, as long as he could apologize and tell his truth.

nothing more than less than five minutes of her time is what he needed. pacing back and fourth, he decided to call her one last time before completely giving up.

the phone rang, anticipation arose. he knew his last message would be to the voice mail once again, oh wait it's full. the last rings coming almost to the end, finally he heard another sound than a constant ring.

"what the fuck do you want?" she asked, he could tell she'd been crying. he wished in this very moment he wasn't even alive. he fucking hated himself.

he took a deep breath knowing he'd get yelled at, and rightfully so., "astrid. i'm so sor-"

she cut him off, "you're sorry?" she scoffed, "congratulations, you have common fucking sense. i don't want to hear it. you're fucking dead to me. what ever we had is- it's fucking done." tears now streaming more from her face.

from his too, "astrid i am so sorry. i mean it. let me please, let me explain. then you can yell at me i don't care, tell me i'm worthless whatever. just let me explain." he begged playing with the string on his hoodie.

he could hear voices in the back telling her not to, which she ignored. "fine you have, i don't know. like two minutes. please don't fucking wait my time."

pete cleared his throat. "thank you." he mumbled before continuing. "i never fucked any girl. i was hanging out with one, but we never fucked. i lied. i just wanted you to feel how i felt. it hurt me, everywhere seeing you and jacob together. seeing the pictures broke me honestly. you can believe me or not but i'm really fucking sorry. and last night, i was on some hard shit. i didn't want to hurt you, but i did. i know i did." he said tears running down his face, his eyes staring at the wall.

"you're right, i can't control who you date or even have an opinion. but i'm sorry. i wish you and who ever you're with happiness. honestly. and i hope you get to have those kids you want, and name them after those flowers you're in love with. i hope who ever the guy is treats you right. i hope you can live in that one house you'd always look at when we would walk around nyc. i hope you fall in love, and that you have that dream wedding you always talk about." he confessed, not knowing why he said all those things, the things they talked about on all those late nights. but he did.

he sighed knowing his two minutes were up, "and astrid, i will always love you. bye." he hung up and threw his phone. he royally fucked up.