loveless; regulus black

ೃ⁀➷ xxxviii. drowning

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ophelia woke up with one thought on her mind. i'm in love with regulus black. but she was forced out of bed with another thought. regulus black, the man i'm in love with, is not in our bed.

she frantically threw the blankets off her and ran down the stairs. there have been numerous times that she woke up without regulus in their bed. he was either researching or making her breakfast, but he was doing neither of those things as ophelia checked the library and kitchen.

when she had searched the entire house, ophelia felt it.

ophelia felt the withdrawal she experience when she and regulus didn't talk to each other after james' party. yet this was worse. because then, ophelia knew she and regulus would find their way back to each other. they always did. but now, she wasn't so sure.

as she sunk her knees into the carpet, tears pooling below her, one thought was on her mind. she hoped that thinking about it enough would be able to transfer it to regulus. how could you leave me? how could you add yourself to the list of people i have lost?

regulus had heard her words. he didn't know how but he did. how could you leave me? how could you add yourself to the list of people i have lost? he hoped that one day, one day in the years to come, ophelia would realize it was for her.

this was for her. it was always going to be for her.

she may have been in love with sirius, but at least she found it in her heart to love him.

that in itself was the greatest thing regulus has ever felt. and was the last thing he thought as he took his final breath.

it was exactly then that ophelia, in the other side of the world, clutched her chest—thanking merlin as she was already in bed. the familiar feeling of water filling up her lungs and the inability to sleep was the only thing she could feel for an hour until it was nothing.

ophelia wanted to drown all over again rather than feel the emptiness she did now.

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"ophelia! ophelia!" was the fist sound that boomed around the house for the first time in five months.

for five months ophelia did not speak, who would i speak to? for five months ophelia did not cry, what would that do? for five months, ophelia didn't bother leaving the house, or her room for that matter, at all.

so, why, why on earth was professor mcgonall in her house? thinking not saying anything was the best way to get her to leave was idiotic as the professor opens the bedroom door.

her former professor looked frantic, possibly with the important news she had to share, but it soon washed away when she saw the sight of ophelia black. as if a light switch had been turned on, professor mcgonall closed the door.

ophelia furrowed her eyebrows, did she leave?

but less than twenty minutes later, she arrived back with a bowl and a flask. a bowl of soup and flask of firewhiskey. whatever she had to say had to be good.

professor mcgonagall sat down at the feet of her bed and looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "albus doesn't know i am here..."

"ahh, so this isn't official hogwarts business, then?" ophelia said, her voice hoarse as though she hasn't used it in ages. she took a sip of the bowl and felt like vomiting. this was the soup regulus always made for her.

"yes... it is not. i—i do not know how much you know about what has happened lately," professor mcgonagall says, hesitating. "lily and james... they died five months ago."

ophelia didn't react. no tears slipping down ophelia's face or worried look. she just kept sipping her soup.

james had told professor mcgonagall about their 'fight.' about how he impulsively demanded she leave. and professor mcgonagall assumed that was why ophelia acted like she didn't care. but the older witch was wrong.

ophelia black was saddened. she was on the verge of hating james and lily potter, yes, but she still loved them. she just didn't react because, what else was new? they were just another one to her list.

"harry is being sent to live with the durselys."

"petunia and her husband?" ophelia scoffed. "they never gave a rat's ass about lily."

the professor overlooked her swearing as she thought, there, there's the ophelia that i taught. the ophelia that spent every thursday with lily. the ophelia that gave pep talks to james before games, even games that were against her team. the ophelia that loved and cared for them.

"this is why... i was wondering if you take him in?" professor mcgonagall said and the anger on ophelia's face disappeared. "albus has this nonsense in his mind about how his mother's love would protect him. but, as you know, petunia never truly loved lily as a sister. you did."

the hope that ignited in professor mcgonagall was squashed as ophelia placed the soup on the nigthstand and stood up.

a baby bump replaced the once regular sized stomach of ophelia black.

"you—you're—"

"—i have enough problems as it is, professor. so with all due respect, i will have to decline the prospect of raising not one, but two kids," ophelia said as she placed her hand on her stomach. "that is, if i'm even raising mine."

hope was such a dangerous thing.

ophelia had hoped that her cruse would take her before people could fully love her. in her mind, it would be easier for them to let her go. yet... why?

why was she the one destined to die, yet the only one alive?

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷D SPEAKS!

i wanna say that ophelia and regulus DO NOT have special powers than connect them or whatever (i can list numerous harry potter fics that have done that) regulus just assume that this was ophelia was thinking at that time and he was correct because well, he knows ophelia more than anyone, you know? and ophelia feeling regulus drowning was physiological. her worst memory was of drowning and now her new one was of regulus dying. and since she doesn't really know how he dies, she simply links the two memories together

 this is technically the end. i originally planned an entire spinoff book for ophelia and regulus' child but i have another idea in mind (not related to this one) so i have four special chapters and done. panart is done aaa :(