My greatest weakness - Sakuatsu

Chapter 17

Kiyoomi tended to overthink the dumbest things.

It amazed him how easily he could make life changing decisions and not feel overwhelmed by it, like when he decided to be a pro player, or when he moved to an apartment alone in an unknown city.

And at the same time, it amazed him how his mind managed to make such big deals out of the most insignificant things.

He hated when his mysophobia took the best of him, sometimes being so strong it kept him from doing normal things like practice or being on public transport without feeling anxious.

So his first impulse was to avoid those situations.

Practices were something he couldn't avoid, but for example, he never took the subway at rush hour, and even preferred to take a cab or walk if possible to avoid that unpleasant feeling.

He knew exactly when that feeling was starting to build up, even if he didn't want to.

And now, that feeling, all of that overthinking, was about his relationship with Atsumu.

It felt like too much, too many new things to process. Too many serious emotions he wasn't sure Atsumu responded to.

The blonde seemed to not worry about anything, and said certain shocking things so easily that Kiyoomi doubted if they were true.

"I would've wanted all my first times to be with you".

How could he confess something so serious just like that?

He knew he was overthinking, but he couldn't help it.

And it got even worse when the fan events began.

He knew Atsumu was silly. He knew he teased everyone and flirted as a joke if his fans flirted with him.

But now, seeing that somehow was unbearable for Kiyoomi.

He hated those events because of all the people that gathered, but now on top of that, he hated how Atsumu's smile was addressed to those annoyingly clingy girls around him, asking for his autograph.

He seemed to enjoy it.

Maybe he just wanted attention, and that's why he was with him.

Maybe he'd want to be with some of those girls and he was dragging him.

So he'd end up being just a hindrance.

"Omi-kun? You ok?", Atsumu asked as he noticed Kiyoomi's gloomy expression during the event, making him come back to reality.

"… Too many people".

"Yeah… Do you need to get out?".

"I'm fine".

He didn't want him to know all the things he was thinking.

He felt vulnerable because of them.

And that made him feel stupid.

Atsumu knew something was off, but didn't want to push him into telling him either, so he tried to ignore his restlessness.

Sunset had already begun when the event finished, and they walked together to Atsumu's house since the latter had invited him.

"So, Osamu is gonna be there tonight. I told him you'd come, so he says he'll prepare something special. He's eager to meet ya, and has been insisting on this hang out for a while, so I'm sure he'll ask ya a bunch of questions about us".

"What?", Kiyoomi responded as he stopped walking.

"Ya know, I bet he'll ask about how we met and who-".